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Facing Fears and Finding Fit: A Self-Study of Teacher Education Leadership

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Title: Facing Fears and Finding Fit: A Self-Study of Teacher Education Leadership
Language: English
Authors: Brandon M. Butler, Diane Yendol-Hoppey
Source: Studying Teacher Education. 2024 20(2):236-258.
Availability: Routledge. Available from: Taylor & Francis, Ltd. 530 Walnut Street Suite 850, Philadelphia, PA 19106. Tel: 800-354-1420; Tel: 215-625-8900; Fax: 215-207-0050; Web site: http://www.tandf.co.uk/journals
Peer Reviewed: Y
Page Count: 23
Publication Date: 2024
Document Type: Journal Articles
Reports - Research
Education Level: Higher Education
Postsecondary Education
Descriptors: Teacher Education, Teacher Leadership, Administrators, Administrator Attitudes, Educational Change, Teacher Educators
DOI: 10.1080/17425964.2024.2303675
ISSN: 1742-5964
1742-5972
Abstract: In an era defined by educational reform, teacher education requires strong, informed, and reflective leadership. Although teacher education faculty leadership is essential to reform, identifying and supporting the development of teacher educators who assume administrative leadership positions remains critical. Unfortunately, the transition into academic leadership often lacks training and support, leaving leaders isolated and learning as they lead. In this study, the authors -- leaders at different institutions with different leadership roles as dean and program director -- used self-study methods to explore questions related to teacher education leadership. Specifically, we found that reform-minded teacher education leaders should find professional fit in the programs and institutions they lead, find ways to maintain their work as teacher educator-scholars, have a willingness to express uncertainties related to their work as leaders, and learn to facilitate and support change in teacher education. Implications include a need for teacher education leadership training and mentoring, as well as providing space for leaders to support one another across institutions and ranks.
Abstractor: As Provided
Entry Date: 2024
Accession Number: EJ1427252
Database: ERIC
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  Value: <anid>AN0177594080;v1m01aug.24;2024Jun04.04:04;v2.2.500</anid> <title id="AN0177594080-1">Facing Fears and Finding Fit: A Self-Study of Teacher Education Leadership </title> <p>In an era defined by educational reform, teacher education requires strong, informed, and reflective leadership. Although teacher education faculty leadership is essential to reform, identifying and supporting the development of teacher educators who assume administrative leadership positions remains critical. Unfortunately, the transition into academic leadership often lacks training and support, leaving leaders isolated and learning as they lead. In this study, the authors – leaders at different institutions with different leadership roles as dean and program director – used self-study methods to explore questions related to teacher education leadership. Specifically, we found that reform-minded teacher education leaders should find professional fit in the programs and institutions they lead, find ways to maintain their work as teacher educator-scholars, have a willingness to express uncertainties related to their work as leaders, and learn to facilitate and support change in teacher education. Implications include a need for teacher education leadership training and mentoring, as well as providing space for leaders to support one another across institutions and ranks.</p> <p>Keywords: Self-study; self-study of teacher education practices; teacher education; teacher education leadership; reciprocal mentoring</p> <p>What does it mean when teacher educators assume leadership roles in teacher education? This is a question to which scholars have provided some answers. In higher education, a broad base of scholarship exists focused on department chair leadership (e.g. Cipriano & Riccardi, [<reflink idref="bib12" id="ref1">12</reflink>]) and the deanship (e.g. Clift et al., [<reflink idref="bib15" id="ref2">15</reflink>]). Allison and Ramirez ([<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref3">2</reflink>]) noted, however, that understanding of leadership in teacher education is still in its relative infancy. Our self-study of teacher education leadership is situated in the United States, where there is a continued press for teacher education reform (American Association of Colleges for Teacher Education, [<reflink idref="bib3" id="ref4">3</reflink>], National Council for the Accreditation of Teacher Education, [<reflink idref="bib41" id="ref5">41</reflink>]) amid declining enrollment in teacher education programs (Sutcher et al., [<reflink idref="bib52" id="ref6">52</reflink>]). Addressing such changes in teacher education requires strong, informed, and reflective leadership. Thus, supporting teacher education leader development remains critical. Although we acknowledge that teacher educators undertake a wide-range of leadership responsibilities in their institutions (e.g. committee service, collaborating with school partners), in this study, we focus on the work of teacher education leadership, which we define as the administrative responsibilities associated with service as a program administrator, department chair, associate dean, or dean related to preservice and inservice teacher preparation. North et al. ([<reflink idref="bib42" id="ref7">42</reflink>]) noted that for teacher educators, the 'combination of [leadership and managerial] roles is a potential minefield for those new to academic leadership and who are drawn to leadership rather than management aspects of the positions' (p. 704). We recognized the obstacles we faced and the sense of urgency we felt as we assumed leadership roles and led reform in teacher education. In response, we used self-study research methods to explore our leadership questions as we simultaneously engaged in parallel teacher education leadership activities.</p> <p>Given the importance of leadership in ongoing reform and innovation in teacher education, providing support to leaders is essential. By reform, we refer to the intense and complex academic work described by Hollins and Warner ([<reflink idref="bib25" id="ref8">25</reflink>]):</p> <p>... [T]eacher education models the professional practices and procedures for teaching. In addition to the shared knowledge base for teaching, teacher educators have a shared knowledge base, practices and procedures for the process of learning to teach. Teacher preparation involves developing the deep knowledge and habits of mind associated with teaching as an interpretive process. Further, the design of teacher preparation programs is responsive to existing and new knowledge in the field, local and national needs, and state and national standards for the teaching profession and for teacher preparation. (p. x)</p> <p>Assuming leadership in teacher education means assuring that colleges of education collaborate broadly to use data-driven evidence to reform teacher preparation as an academically taught clinical-practice profession (Kirby et al., [<reflink idref="bib26" id="ref9">26</reflink>]).</p> <p>In reviewing research on teacher education leadership, we did not identify scholarship in which leaders from different levels of leadership collaboratively unpacked their leadership efforts. The research on learning higher education and teacher education leadership has explored individuals' learning of leadership (e.g. Manke, [<reflink idref="bib34" id="ref10">34</reflink>]) or collaborative explorations from similar ranks, such as department chairs/program directors (e.g. Myers & Hughes, [<reflink idref="bib40" id="ref11">40</reflink>], Ramirez & Allison, [<reflink idref="bib47" id="ref12">47</reflink>]) or deans (e.g. Loughran & Allen, [<reflink idref="bib31" id="ref13">31</reflink>]). Although such research is informative, multi-leveled leadership collaborations provide insights from differing perspectives. Recognizing the lack of training and support for being a leader in teacher education (Allison & Ramirez, [<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref14">2</reflink>], Gronn, [<reflink idref="bib21" id="ref15">21</reflink>], Mills, [<reflink idref="bib38" id="ref16">38</reflink>]), and the often-isolated work of teacher education leadership (Loughran, [<reflink idref="bib29" id="ref17">29</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib30" id="ref18">30</reflink>]), we wondered how we could access the perspectives of those who hold different roles than ourselves but share similar goals. We believed that having deeper insight and conversation with leaders across roles might lead to new insights, expanded reflection, and more informed leadership practices.</p> <p>In this article, we add to this literature base by investigating our simultaneous transition into leadership at two separate universities: Diane as a college dean, and Brandon as a program director, both in the southeastern region of the United States. Diane had recently accepted a position as dean of a college of education after holding leadership positions at several universities, including center director, department chair, and associate dean. Brandon had recently been tasked by his department chair to lead several graduate programs. Our collaboration took the form of reciprocal mentoring (Paris, [<reflink idref="bib43" id="ref19">43</reflink>]), which offered us access to wonderings and prompting of one another to consider various perspectives as we experienced tensions in our leadership. Although there exists scholarship that considers the implications of leadership on teacher educators (e.g. Clift, [<reflink idref="bib13" id="ref20">13</reflink>], Loughran, [<reflink idref="bib29" id="ref21">29</reflink>]), we saw potential to delve more deeply into this area by drawing on Berry's ([<reflink idref="bib6" id="ref22">6</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib8" id="ref23">8</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib7" id="ref24">7</reflink>]) tensions of teaching teachers and applying them to the learning and enactment of teacher education leadership. As such, we sought to answer the following questions: How do we understand the tensions we experience while engaged in formal teacher education leadership? And, how does this understanding enhance our growth and experiences of teacher education leadership? This is the first of two articles published in <emph>Studying Teacher Education</emph> about our learning of teacher education leadership. In this article, we investigate the presence of Berry's tensions of <emph>confidence and uncertainty</emph> and <emph>safety and challenge</emph> in our learning to lead. In the second article, Butler and Yendol-Hoppey ([<reflink idref="bib10" id="ref25">10</reflink>]), we investigate the tensions of <emph>action and intent</emph> and <emph>valuing and reconstructing experience</emph>.</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-2">Literature Review</hd> <p></p> <hd id="AN0177594080-3">Self-Study and Learning Teacher Education Leadership</hd> <p>In a review of leadership self-studies, Manke ([<reflink idref="bib34" id="ref26">34</reflink>]) 'urge[d] administrators who work with self-study practitioners to consider self-study as a mode of learning about administration that can make great contributions to educators' understanding of the context and practices that surround them' (p. 1389). Since that call, teacher education leaders have studied the impact leadership had on their previous research and practice, with the incompatibility of being a teacher educator and leader receiving particular focus. In a study of her transition into leadership, Clift ([<reflink idref="bib13" id="ref27">13</reflink>]) found that 'the life, obligations, responsibilities, and roles of a faculty member do not provide a clear framework for assuming the role and responsibility of a teacher education administrator' (p. 168). Clift added, 'the roles associated with being a faculty member, researcher, and administrator sometimes conflict' (p. 168). Loughran ([<reflink idref="bib29" id="ref28">29</reflink>]) too noted a shift in how he perceived himself professionally, stating, 'making the transition from professor to dean has highlighted for me the personal and professional challenges associated with the process of "becoming" through a shifting identity' (p. 5). Loughran commented on the fact that leadership took him away from research and teaching he associated with his work as a teacher educator. In several studies (Allison & Ramirez, [<reflink idref="bib1" id="ref29">1</reflink>], Ramirez & Allison, [<reflink idref="bib47" id="ref30">47</reflink>], Ramirez & Allison-Roan, [<reflink idref="bib48" id="ref31">48</reflink>]), Allison and Ramirez shared their experiences in transitioning into leadership roles, particularly as pre-tenured faculty. In one study, Ramirez and Allison ([<reflink idref="bib47" id="ref32">47</reflink>]) highlighted the continued challenge in implementing their teacher educator pedagogy and research but saw continued possibilities in further exploring the intersection between leadership and teacher education to make connections between the two sides of their professional lives.</p> <p>Others have highlighted similar uncertainties and feelings that come with transitioning into leadership positions. Badali ([<reflink idref="bib4" id="ref33">4</reflink>]) noted feelings of impostor syndrome as she was drawn between the competing identities of teacher educator and teacher education leader. Likewise, Ramirez and Allison-Roan ([<reflink idref="bib48" id="ref34">48</reflink>]) expressed the resentment they held toward leadership as it pulled time away from the teaching and research they valued. In their self-study of transitioning into academic leadership, North et al. ([<reflink idref="bib42" id="ref35">42</reflink>]) identified several tensions they experienced during this transition. They experienced a sense of discomfort as they moved from familiar teacher educator roles to unfamiliar leadership roles. They also highlighted how these competing identities impacted how they engaged with colleagues and programs. Finally, North et al. considered how their identities became malleable, as well as the different responsibilities associated with their new roles. Their final finding from this research underscores the significance of self-study. It highlights the realization that career development inherently involves the process of shaping one's identity. To 'become more' in one's career, individuals must push beyond their existing 'boundaries of confidence and competence', thereby expanding and redefining their identities to accommodate new challenges and demands (p. 711). This discovery resonates with our own experiences as we embarked on a journey to cultivate confidence and a feeling of security in our leadership positions, which we delve into within this study.</p> <p>Personal experience is regularly used by teacher educators to orient their work in leadership positions. As a university-level administrator, Kitchen ([<reflink idref="bib27" id="ref36">27</reflink>]) noted, 'my prior experiences as an educator and teacher educator had taught me the importance of recognizing the wealth of professional experiences of my colleagues' (p. 75). Clift ([<reflink idref="bib14" id="ref37">14</reflink>]) stated that 'most deans had a personal history of leadership and service long before they became academics' (p. 23). However, many of these leaders noted limited training and support for leadership work (e.g. Mills, [<reflink idref="bib38" id="ref38">38</reflink>]), highlighting the need for institutions to support new teacher education leaders. Loughran expressed the importance of mentoring and used executive coaching and critical friendship to help him make sense of his leadership work (Loughran & Allen, [<reflink idref="bib31" id="ref39">31</reflink>]). Additionally, Allison and Ramirez found co-mentoring to have a profound effect on their developing leadership practices (Allison & Ramirez, [<reflink idref="bib1" id="ref40">1</reflink>], Ramirez & Allison, [<reflink idref="bib47" id="ref41">47</reflink>]). Given the heightened focus on teacher education reform, supporting the development of teacher education leadership is essential. Working at the intersection of the literature on learning to lead in higher education and research on the role self-study can play in that learning, we believed we were positioned to explore the tensions that could either inhibit or, if studied, enhance our growth and experiences of leadership as we supported teacher education reform.</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-4">Theoretical Perspective</hd> <p>Our early discussion of tensions associated with our leadership work led us to the six tensions Berry ([<reflink idref="bib6" id="ref42">6</reflink>]) found related to learning and enacting teacher education. She noted these tensions are interrelated but can simultaneously come into conflict, which represent the 'ever-present ambiguity of teachers' (and teacher educators') work' (p. 1313), and are:</p> <p>intended to capture both the feelings of internal turmoil that many teacher educators experience in their teaching about teaching as they find themselves pulled in different directions and the difficulties that many teacher educators experience as they learn to recognize and manage these opposing forces. (p. 1313)</p> <p>Berry identified six tensions related to teaching about teaching: telling and growth; confidence and uncertainty; action and intent; safety and challenge; valuing and reconstructing experience; and planning and being responsive.</p> <p>In this article, we focus on two tensions: <emph>confidence and uncertainty</emph> and <emph>safety and challenge</emph>. Berry ([<reflink idref="bib7" id="ref43">7</reflink>]) defined <emph>confidence and uncertainty</emph> as a 'tension experienced by teacher educators as they move away from the confidence of established approaches to teaching to explore new, more uncertain approaches to teacher education' (p. 120). Wiebke and Rogers ([<reflink idref="bib53" id="ref44">53</reflink>]) provide an example of confidence and uncertainty in practice, highlighting how Wiebke's new teacher educator role created uncertainty about her pedagogical practices, which negatively impacted her confidence regarding her teaching abilities. Berry ([<reflink idref="bib7" id="ref45">7</reflink>]) also saw the tension of <emph>safety and challenge</emph> as coming 'from teacher educators engaging students in forms of pedagogy intended to challenge and confront thinking about teaching and learning, and pushing students beyond the climate of safety necessary for learning to take place' (p. 120). Grierson et al. ([<reflink idref="bib20" id="ref46">20</reflink>]) exemplify this tension in their self-study of a faculty development group, noting how teacher educators must exhibit vulnerability so they can move beyond safe practices and mindsets about teaching and teacher education to effectively challenge their professional learning and the learning of teacher candidates.</p> <p>Berry's six tensions have extensively been used in self-study to research teacher education practices (e.g. McConn & Mason, [<reflink idref="bib36" id="ref47">36</reflink>], Petrarca & Bullock, [<reflink idref="bib44" id="ref48">44</reflink>], Wiebke and Rogers, [<reflink idref="bib53" id="ref49">53</reflink>]). For example, Wiebke and Rogers ([<reflink idref="bib53" id="ref50">53</reflink>]) identified the presence of three tensions in Wiebke's transition into science teacher education – telling and growth, confidence and uncertainty, and planning and being responsive. Wiebke noted that by using a critical friend (Rodgers), 'this self-study of my own professional practice helped me to realize what tensions I am experiencing and, more specifically, how they are influencing my orientations toward teaching' (p. 235). More recently, Martin ([<reflink idref="bib35" id="ref51">35</reflink>]) used Berry's tensions to investigate his teaching of controversial topics in a graduate course. His unpacking of a critical incident helped him understand the tensions that exist in such teaching, and the personal, political, and pedagogical circumstances that teacher educators must be mindful of to ensure an effective teaching and learning environment.</p> <p>We identified parallels between the tensions teacher educators experience and those teacher education leaders experience. Like North et al. ([<reflink idref="bib42" id="ref52">42</reflink>]), we saw competing demands and tensions that existed in the work of leaders, and how they reflected the tensions of teaching teachers (Berry, [<reflink idref="bib6" id="ref53">6</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib8" id="ref54">8</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib7" id="ref55">7</reflink>]). As such, we wanted to understand how these tensions existed in our work as leaders. We saw <emph>confidence and uncertainty</emph>'s parallel in teacher education leadership as the experiences teacher education leaders have as they balance what they know about teacher education, and the culture of higher education and teacher education, with learning how to lead innovation and change in teacher education. Likewise, we saw the tension of <emph>safety and challenge</emph> emerging in the discomfort created in the lived experiences of teacher education leaders when they engage faculty in activities intended to challenge and confront institutional innovation and pushing faculty beyond the status quo. Table 1 highlights the parallel conceptions of tensions in teaching teachers and teacher education leadership.</p> <p>Table 1. Contrasting tensions of teaching in teacher education and teacher education leadership.</p> <p> <ephtml> <table><thead><tr><td>Tensions</td><td>In Teaching Teaching (from Berry, <xref ref-type="bibr" rid="bibr7">2007b</xref>)</td><td>In Teacher Education Leadership</td></tr></thead><tbody><tr><td>Telling and Growth</td><td>This tension is embedded in teacher educators learning how to balance their desire to tell prospective teachers about teaching and providing opportunities for prospective teachers to learn about teaching for themselves.</td><td>This tension is embedded in leaders' learning how to balance their desire to tell faculty and provide specific learning opportunities related to strengthening teacher education as opposed to relying on them to learn about how to strengthen and innovate in teacher education for themselves.</td></tr><tr><td>Confidence and Uncertainty</td><td>This is a tension experienced by teacher educators as they move away from the confidence of established approaches to teaching to explore new, more uncertain approaches to teacher education.</td><td>This tension is experienced by teacher education leaders as they balance what they know about teacher education (and the culture of higher education/teacher education) with learning on-the-job how to lead innovation/change in teacher education.</td></tr><tr><td>Action and Intent</td><td>This tension arises from discrepancies between goals that teacher educators set out to achieve in their teaching and the ways in which these goals can be inadvertently undermined by the actions chosen to attain them.</td><td>This tension arises from discrepancies between goals teacher education leaders set out to achieve and the ways in which these goals can be inadvertently undermined by the actions chosen to attain them.</td></tr><tr><td>Safety and Challenge</td><td>This tension comes from teacher educators engaging students in forms of pedagogy intended to challenge and confront thinking about teaching and learning, and pushing students beyond the climate of safety necessary for learning to take place.</td><td>This tension emerges in the discomfort created in the lived experience of the teacher education leader when engaging faculty in activities intended to challenge and confront program innovation, and pushing faculty beyond the status quo.</td></tr><tr><td>Valuing and Reconstructing Experience</td><td>This tension is embedded in the teacher educator's role of helping prospective teachers recognize the value of personal experience in learning to teach, yet at the same time, helping them to see that there is more to teaching than simply acquiring experience.</td><td>This tension is embedded in the leader's role of helping faculty recognize the value of past experience and expertise as important to the puzzle, yet at the same time, helping them see there is more to teacher education than individual expertise and recognize the importance of building new and more comprehensive understandings of high quality education programs.</td></tr><tr><td>Planning and Being Responsive</td><td>This tension emerges from difficulties associated with implementing a predetermined curriculum and responding to learning opportunities that arise within the context of practice.</td><td>This tension emerges from difficulties associated with changing current practices and responding to learning opportunities that arise within the leadership context.</td></tr></tbody></table> </ephtml> </p> <hd id="AN0177594080-5">Methods</hd> <p>Although self-study research in teacher education leadership is in its relative infancy (Allison & Ramirez, [<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref56">2</reflink>]), there are benefits in conducting self-study about learning and enacting leadership in teacher education. We framed our exploration of leadership as a collaborative self-study, which Pithouse et al. ([<reflink idref="bib45" id="ref57">45</reflink>]) defined as 'two or more people intentionally [working] together as co-scholars" who research a shared problem of practice (p. 27). Additionally, Louie et al. ([<reflink idref="bib33" id="ref58">33</reflink>]) argued that, 'Collaborative self-study research holds significant potential for creating valid, useful pedagogical content knowledge as well as for improving teaching practice' (p. 165), or, in our case, improving leadership practices. Given the significance of enacting reform in teacher education, of particular importance is how self-study can support leadership development. We believed self-study could help us improve our leadership practice through a critical examination of practice (Clift, [<reflink idref="bib14" id="ref59">14</reflink>], LaBoskey, [<reflink idref="bib28" id="ref60">28</reflink>], Samaras, [<reflink idref="bib50" id="ref61">50</reflink>]). This critical examination sought to answer the following research questions: How do we understand the tensions we experience while engaged in formal teacher education leadership? And, how does this understanding enhance our growth and experiences of teacher education leadership?</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-6">Context and Participants</hd> <p>Prior to this study, we experienced little opportunity for guidance or training in how to enact leadership roles that could position us to successfully support improvements in teacher education. As a result, we came together in search of an 'other' (Schuck & Russell, [<reflink idref="bib51" id="ref62">51</reflink>]), who might help us 'act more wisely, prudently, and critically' in learning to enact our new leadership roles (Carr & Kemmis, [<reflink idref="bib11" id="ref63">11</reflink>], p. 161). We viewed the 'other' as necessary for our professional learning as leaders, agreeing with Allison and Ramirez ([<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref64">2</reflink>]) who noted that, 'Leadership self-study inquiries heighten the importance of working with a trusted colleague, someone who is a confidential sounding board, provides an outside perspective unencumbered by institutional politics, and dispassionately challenges rationalizing or defensive thinking actions', and that without critical friends, 'teacher educator administrators might find themselves working in isolation and frustration' (p. 8). Diane at first sought out Brandon as a self-study practitioner to help her learn about her new work as a dean and how she might navigate teacher education leadership. Our intention was for Brandon to serve as Diane's critical friend and provide her with a faculty perspective from outside her institutional context. However, the critical friendship quickly evolved into reciprocal mentoring, with Diane – as someone who had held several leadership roles – providing Brandon with insights into teacher educator leadership.</p> <p>In this study, we bring together reciprocal mentoring and self-study research methods (Baker & Bitto, [<reflink idref="bib5" id="ref65">5</reflink>]). Drawing on Paris ([<reflink idref="bib43" id="ref66">43</reflink>]), we defined reciprocal mentoring as 'pairs of two equal, though differently skilled, experts who act in the role of mentor and mentee to each other for mutual benefit' (p.136). The idea of reciprocal mentoring, also explored by Harvey et al. ([<reflink idref="bib24" id="ref67">24</reflink>]), contributes to a competitive advantage through exchanging information, knowledge, advice, and guidance garnered from career experiences. Drawing on these characteristics, the objective of our reciprocal mentoring was to share our experiences with one another, prompting career questioning, and reflection. Reciprocal mentoring allowed us to gain better understanding of our lived experiences, which helped us make sense of one another's experiences. The reciprocal nature of writing about our experiences as a dean and program director helped us understand one another's teacher educator roles as well as the complications we faced when trying to actualize similar goals. We used our reciprocal mentoring relationship for the methodological purpose of helping to mitigate 'the personal involvement, the bias and the emotional investment [that] have the potential to limit the value of any study' (Loughran & Northfield, [<reflink idref="bib32" id="ref68">32</reflink>], p. 13).</p> <p>At the start of our project in March 2018, Diane was beginning her third year as dean at a professional/doctoral granting university in the southeastern United States. Recognizing that no one is fully prepared for the dean role, Diane felt a series of tensions that troubled her and needed exploration. Much of her first three years was learning on the job – learning to dean while deaning. Although the role of dean was complex, Diane found the most complex component of all her leadership roles was enhancing reform of the teacher education programs. Ironically, although being a leader whose scholarship focused on teacher education helped her lead in many ways, the politics that emerged because she possessed that expertise continually created challenges associated with her reform-minded teacher education work. This political challenge related to pushing for teacher education reform continued in her work as a dean. By the conclusion of data collection, Diane was completing her fourth year as dean at her institution.</p> <p>In March 2018, Brandon was finishing his seventh year as a faculty member at a highest research activity university in the mid-Atlantic. Prior to our study, Brandon had already held several low-level leadership roles. Pre-tenure, he was responsible for the development of a school-university partnership, began a three-year term as graduate program director for a master's degree for licensed teachers, and was quickly tasked with leadership of a certificate program for alternatively-licensed teachers. For both programs, he was responsible for marketing/recruitment, admission, student advising, and institutional assessment. A year into our project, Brandon stepped away from these leadership roles to focus on faculty leadership as he had recently been elected to college-level faculty governance positions and elected chair of several university committees. By the conclusion of data collection in spring 2020, Brandon was completing his ninth year at his institution and shifting back to program leadership, collaborating on the development of a new graduate certificate program and co-leading his department's doctoral program.</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-7">Data Collection</hd> <p>Because we were employed at different institutions with differing responsibilities and time constraints, we agreed that digital technology, namely Google Drive, would help us effectively facilitate data collection and analysis (Hamilton & Pinnegar, [<reflink idref="bib23" id="ref69">23</reflink>]). Our collaboration began in March 2018 by writing and sharing our educational and professional autobiographies. These autobiographies were meant to provide a foundation for our collaboration, providing the other with insights into our past and present experiences with leadership. When we began this study, we had a professional relationship given our regular attendance at the same conferences and some familiarity with one another's scholarship. However, self-study research requires a certain degree of openness and knowledge of the other. As such, we held to the belief that autobiographical writing could provide a necessary jumpstart to a meaningful personal and professional dialogue of issues related to leadership we otherwise might have felt uncertain to share (Branyon et al., [<reflink idref="bib9" id="ref70">9</reflink>]). After writing our autobiographies in March 2018, we engaged in on-going, open-ended dialogue about our biographies across the next month, with a total word count of 30,730 words.</p> <p>Afterward, we posted individual narratives on a periodic basis related to our leadership experiences, and to engage in ongoing discussion. These narratives focused on experiences during the period of formal data collection for our collaborative self-study. Over the next year, Diane posted nine narratives and Brandon four, totaling 35,843 words. Word counts include our initial narrative submissions and the on-going dialogue that took place over time, which was embedded into the original narratives. During this time, narratives reduced in frequency after the summer months. To renew our work, in Spring 2019 we shifted focus and conducted a book study of Clift et al.'s ([<reflink idref="bib15" id="ref71">15</reflink>]), <emph>Inside the role of dean</emph>. We wrote and responded to narratives for each chapter, totaling 39,746 words, that connected our interpretations of the readings to our 'in-the-moment' experiences as teacher education leaders. Our work together continues, but data for this article was collected between March 2018 and January 2020.</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-8">Data Analysis</hd> <p>We used Berry's ([<reflink idref="bib6" id="ref72">6</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib8" id="ref73">8</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib7" id="ref74">7</reflink>]) six tensions of teaching as <emph>a priori</emph> codes and basis for thematic coding of data categorically (Saldana, [<reflink idref="bib49" id="ref75">49</reflink>]), for which we noted the tension in association with the thematic meaning. We identified themes independently and if we disagreed on a theme, we discussed the intent and meaning of a passage until we agreed on the tension and thematic meaning. Themes were then entered into a spreadsheet, from which we looked for recurring patterns. We then identified thematic codes that reflected each tension.</p> <p>Following a review of our thematic codes, we decided to focus on two tensions (<emph>confidence and uncertainty</emph>, <emph>safety and challenge</emph>) for this study. Several tensions, like telling and growth, focused primarily on one author, which did not align with our interest in identifying shared learning experiences across leadership roles. We also believed that by focusing on two tensions we could more fully explicate the experiences of learning leadership in the limited space of an article. This decision reduced the amount of data to analyze in a second round of coding from 106,319 words to 15,565 words. Given the interconnectedness between the two tensions, remaining data were compiled together, and further analysis was not conducted separately by tension.</p> <p>Having reduced the data, we engaged in a second round of first-level coding. In this step, we applied process coding, which uses gerunds to 'connote action in the data' (Saldana, [<reflink idref="bib49" id="ref76">49</reflink>], p. 143). This second round of coding produced 111 process codes. For this stage, Brandon coded data, and Diane verified the codes. Any disagreements were deliberated until agreement was reached. Following data reduction, we moved to a final level of coding, which resulted in the study's findings. Using focused coding, we generated our study's findings. Table 2 provides an overview of our categories, sub-categories, and sample focused codes.</p> <p>Table 2. Categories and sample focused codes related to the tensions of confidence and uncertainty and safety and challenge.</p> <p> <ephtml> <table><thead><tr><td>Categories</td><td>Sub-Categories</td><td>Sample Focused Codes</td></tr></thead><tbody><tr><td>Finding Fit and Losing Self in Teacher Education Leadership</td><td>needing to find fit in one's work as leader</td><td>realizing lack of institutional fit seeing lack of fit as teacher education practitioner and scholar identifying reasons for considering new position</td></tr><tr><td>losing professional and scholarly identity in leadership work</td><td>experiencing negative impacts on identity in leadership needing time in leadership to conduct scholarship realizing the changes that come with leadership</td></tr><tr><td>Facing Fears and (Re)Defining Teacher Education Leadership</td><td>admitting uncertainty about being a leader</td><td>admitting vulnerability about leadership identity acknowledging fears associated with leadership work increasing responsibility comes with increasing challenges/anxieties</td></tr><tr><td>describing realities of leadership work</td><td>experiencing apprenticeship of observation into leadership work viewing leadership as on-going learning redefining leadership work (from doing/being change to pushing/facilitating change)</td></tr></tbody></table> </ephtml> </p> <p>Self-study is viewed as a post-qualitative methodology that 'offers no claim of truth but rather an "in the moment, at the time" sense of a passing reality' (Hamilton et al., [<reflink idref="bib22" id="ref77">22</reflink>], p. 308). In contrast to concepts of validity found in quantitative and early qualitative methods, self-study researchers see validation and trustworthiness in varied ways (Craig, [<reflink idref="bib18" id="ref78">18</reflink>], Hamilton et al., [<reflink idref="bib22" id="ref79">22</reflink>], Mena & Russell, [<reflink idref="bib37" id="ref80">37</reflink>]). We achieved trustworthiness by presenting early findings at a national conference on supervision and leadership and an international conference on self-study research, and by providing exemplars using 'previously defined categories validated from research' (Mena & Russell, [<reflink idref="bib37" id="ref81">37</reflink>], p. 115). Loughran and Northfield ([<reflink idref="bib32" id="ref82">32</reflink>]) note that wider interaction with colleagues, such as presenting findings at academic conferences, 'allow [for] validation of experiences and ideas, and thus, self-study reports can be considered as an invitation to readers to link accounts with their own experiences' (p. 13). We further reinforced trustworthiness by fully articulating the context of our study, clearly identifying the data sources of our inquiry, and explicitly detailing the analytic process (Hamilton et al., [<reflink idref="bib22" id="ref83">22</reflink>]). Additionally, as self-study researchers and teacher education leaders we must concern ourselves with the 'ethical responsibilities [we] have to students and colleagues, in whose lives our stories of practice are embedded' (Hamilton et al., [<reflink idref="bib22" id="ref84">22</reflink>], p. 311). Although we make our experiences with leadership public in this article, we protect the identities of students and colleagues by removing any of their identifying features and write about our interactions with them in a generic manner where none are identifiable.</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-9">Findings</hd> <p>As academics and teacher education leaders, we are at different points in our careers. Diane has progressed to professor rank at several universities and held increasing administrative roles, recently serving as dean of an education college. Brandon is an associate professor whose administrative responsibilities have been limited to program-level leadership. However, through self-study we found similarities in our career trajectories, reasons for accepting leadership roles, and common fears and uncertainties associated with leadership work. In this section, we share findings from our study into learning teacher education leadership, and how the tensions we experienced exhibited themselves in our leadership work.</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-10">Finding Fit and Losing Self in Teacher Education Leadership</hd> <p>Finding fit and losing self in teacher education leadership refers to the need to find the right leadership fit and adjusting to shifts in how we define ourselves as scholars and practitioners because of leadership work. In this finding, we consider the tensions we experienced as we sought to balance our identities as teacher educators, scholars, and leaders with the roles and responsibilities associated with academic leadership.</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-11">Needing to Find Fit in One's Work as Leader</hd> <p>For us, a consistent consideration in our work as teacher educator-leaders has been a desire for what we saw as professional fit. Diane recalled that when she applied for the deanship, she 'needed to learn more about [the college and faculty] and they needed to learn more about me to see if there is a good fit' (Narrative, 5 July 2018). She noted the importance of fit, 'I believe that leadership takes a fit between the organization and the candidate' (Narrative, 5 July 2018), which can present a challenge for any academic considering a shift to leadership. During the interview process, faculty indicated the institution was interested in more tightly coupling the clinical component of teacher education to programs and creating assessment and accreditation approaches that would not focus solely on compliance but truly enhance the programs. There were complaints in the college about current partnerships, the separate field office, and it appeared faculty had an interest in coursework being more integrated with clinical work. She felt confident that the match between her expertise and the dean position at this institution could be promising.</p> <p>For Brandon, professional fit has been an on-going challenge as his faculty line and much of his associated teaching responsibilities have not reflected his evolving scholarship and teaching preferences associated with teacher education. Of particular frustration was the fact his faculty line was primarily associated with elementary social studies education, whereas his professional background was in middle and secondary social studies. However, his only exposure to secondary social studies education as faculty has been co-authoring the secondary social studies licensure program's Specialized Professional Association (SPA) reports for national accreditation. Brandon noted, 'I wanted to feel more a part of the [secondary social studies] program, keep current with secondary social studies research and practices, and to have research opportunities with secondary social studies' (Narrative, 1 July 2018). However, the lack of such opportunities left Brandon feeling uncertain, as he was disconnected from his disciplinary background and looking for other teaching, research, and leadership opportunities within his department.</p> <p>While Brandon continued teaching elementary social studies education courses, he was asked to help design and teach in a master's program for practicing teachers. This experience, combined with his teaching doctoral students about teacher education, shifted his attention away from social studies. As he made this move, Brandon saw a challenge for those interested in teacher education. Writing about his interest to shift from social studies to teacher education, he noted, 'It becomes hard to find the right "fit" because of our teaching and scholarly interests, especially in an environment where disciplinary practice dominates' (Narrative, 4 December 2018). Brandon's department chairs have understood these shifts and afforded him space to pursue these interests through developing a master's degree program, a certificate program for teacher leaders, teaching doctoral coursework related to teacher education, and leading the development of a school-university partnership. However, the disciplinary basis of his faculty line placed limits on Brandon's ability to fully embrace his professional interests. In one narrative, Brandon highlighted the lack of fit, saying, 'My interests don't readily align with what we do, often leaving me feeling out of place' (Narrative, 26 January 2019). This movement creates uncertainty and professional challenges for teacher education leaders when their scholarly and teaching responsibilities do not align with their leadership responsibilities. Having undergone a similar shift in her career, Diane responded that 'morphing is natural as a survival or reform move for some of us within our institutions when we see pockets of possibility but [it] sometimes causes rubs' (Narrative, 26 January 2019).</p> <p>Although Diane sought institutional fit when she applied for the dean position, she was quickly challenged by different understandings of what quality reform-minded program design looked like. There was a lack of alignment between promising teacher education scholarship, accreditation expectations, and the current practices of the college she now led. She noted at several points, 'One thing I have had to recognize is that the college didn't yet have the core clinical elements of the innovative programs I had studied and wrote about' (Book Study, 2 May 2019) and 'had program challenges that needed direction' (Narrative, 5 July 2018). She noted this is 'one of the reasons I believe I was hired' (Autobiography, 25 March 2018).</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-12">Losing Professional and Scholarly Identities in Leadership Work</hd> <p>Diane tried to work with faculty on program development by creating an organizational culture that utilized and contributed to teacher education reform and research. She believed these shifts would enhance the college's ability to meet the reform challenges. However, she found her professional and scholarly 'interests have really been limited', noting,</p> <p>As the dean, I can't do the teacher ed work... The problem is that many don't want the dean involved in any of this work. It becomes a political challenge that has forced me to identify structures and levers that force or push for movement. As someone who isn't a fan of our accreditation systems, I have even used those to push for change. (Narrative, 8 April 2019)</p> <p>This created uncertainty surrounding her work. Diane noted earlier that her career passion was to 'make a difference in education and, more specifically, the preparation of great teachers' (Narrative, 25 September 2018). However, as she took on leadership roles with more responsibilities (e.g. department chair, associate dean, dean), Diane reflected, 'I moved farther and farther from the work and have lost myself [my voice] in all of that' (Narrative, 25 September 2018). Ironically, the reason Diane continued to take on new leadership roles was because she believed that aligned support for teacher education reform needed to exist at each level and too frequently teacher education is not a dean's area of expertise.</p> <p>Diane was learning that accomplishing reform-minded teacher education required shared support for core teacher education practices and concepts across faculty, program leaders, chairs, the dean's office, and partners. Higher education carries defined roles and responsibilities with each position, and her job in the dean's office was limited to putting structures and expectations in place that encouraged teacher education reform using accreditation and research as the lever. However, she had less influence in helping faculty navigate university, college, and department policies created through faculty governance (e.g. promotion decisions, work assignments) that might conflict with those goals. She found herself uncertain, lost in a waiting game as she needed faculty and department chairs to create policy and curricular alignment necessary to make important teacher education reforms.</p> <p>Although we each took leadership roles to help improve teacher education, we agreed about the impact leadership had on our scholarship, similar to how Loughran ([<reflink idref="bib29" id="ref85">29</reflink>]) saw his 'identity as an academic ... challenged by the daily requirements of the ever-changing nature of [leadership work]' (p. 6). Brandon noted, 'My identity has been negatively impacted because of the administrative tasks I have been handed' (Book Study, 12 May 2019). He lacked a sense of confidence in his work and felt overextended. He stated, 'When you're chairing or sitting on five-to-six department, college and university committees and running several programs, can you be successful when your time is divided?' (Narrative, 4 December 2018). Diane later responded to this comment, noting, 'You have no time [and little space] as an administrator allotted to the work that initially drew you to teacher education in the first place. But you feel like if you don't take your turn at leadership then the reform work that defines you as a scholar is even more challenging' (Narrative, 26 January 2019).</p> <p>We responded to our challenges in different ways. Diane remained in her position as dean throughout the study. While in the deanship, Diane had to find opportunities to attend to her scholarship and this was always in addition to the already time intensive job of 'deaning'. However, she noted that 'research and teaching give me a much-needed mental break from the dailiness of running a college' and from the 'draining personnel and interpersonal challenges, conflicts' (Book Study, 2 May 2019). Diane saw writing and teaching as providing her 'continued insight into the faculty's work and...to be reenergized' (Book Study, 2 May 2019). For her, these areas provided confidence, adding, 'my scholarship is the one space where I can be who I want and explore the ideas that are important to me' (Book Study, 2 May 2019). Diane received a second, five-year contract but after the sixth year and due to her interest in scholarship and teacher education reform she decided to return to faculty in 2022 to be a part of the programmatic, curricular, and faculty governance work. Brandon concurred with Diane's perspective in a separate narrative from the book study, noting, 'Part of our [academic] identity is the writing we do, and that writing often comes from time consuming, collaborative work with others' (Book Study, 21 November 2019). He summarized the tension that existed between research and leadership, noting, 'It is hard to feel good when you cannot fit that part of your identity into your life' (Book Study, 21 November 2019). Brandon would step down from his programmatic leadership roles at the midpoint of data collection, only to return to program leadership a year later. What he learned during the study helped guide his decisions in this regard, a topic we touch upon later in this article.</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-13">Facing Fears and (Re)defining Teacher Education Leadership</hd> <p>Facing fears and (re)defining teacher education leadership required admitting uncertainty about being a leader and (re)defining our work as leaders as we entered new positions. In this finding, we consider the tensions we experienced as we navigated the transition from familiar, or safe, to unfamiliar, or uncertain, roles and came to acknowledge the reality of leadership work.</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-14">Admitting Uncertainty About Being a Leader</hd> <p>A common theme related to facing fears was the uncertainty we experienced in our learning and enacting of leadership. Diane regularly expressed confidence in her teacher education expertise, experience in reforming and leading high quality education programs, and conducting research on impactful clinical experiences like professional development schools, residency programs, and job-embedded professional development. However, she developed confidence by facing her fear that she would not help reform teacher education from the dean's office and that she struggled helping others consider change as part of their responsibility. She expressed an inability to work through a critical mass of others to address or 'fix' the programmatic issues that did not align with research and accreditation recommendations related to linking coursework and fieldwork. Her inability to influence those issues made her question her ability to lead, stating, 'I thought I might be able to help them with their challenges' (Narrative, 30 March 2018) but various forms of resistance often made her unable 'to use [her] strengths to solve the problems associated with the college's teacher education programs' (Narrative, 8 April 2019).</p> <p>This tension of having expertise and an inability to use it generated skepticism related to rethinking the work of teacher education and leadership. Diane noted,</p> <p>I felt like an impostor as I entered the deanship ... I had no idea what it meant to be a dean. I had never been one. I knew much more about teacher education and doing teacher education myself than about leading teacher education. I have come to learn that these two things are very different. I have to lead through and with people across roles but there has to be a shared understanding of what that looks like and a critical mass of those ready and interested to lead through and with. (Narrative, 30 March 2018)</p> <p>This recognition of vulnerability in one's ability to lead provides powerful insights for those learning to lead. Similar to how teacher candidates can rely on an 'authority of experience' (Munby & Russell, [<reflink idref="bib39" id="ref86">39</reflink>]), there can be an assumption that leaders know how to lead because they have observed leadership or served in lesser leadership roles. However, leadership is often something learned-on-the-job (Gronn, [<reflink idref="bib21" id="ref87">21</reflink>]), with exploration of experience and practice serving an important role in moving beyond one's personal authority (Allison & Ramirez, [<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref88">2</reflink>]). Diane noted that 'my goal of entering leadership was because I rarely had leaders that helped or modeled how to lead reform-oriented teacher education and so the work of reform was exhausting without support from above' (Autobiography, 25 March 2018). As Diane commented three years into her tenure as dean, 'I am still learning what it means to be a dean, what it takes to improve programs and help faculty be the best version of themselves, and the meaning seems to be shifting with time and need and as our programs improve' (Narrative, 30 March 2018).</p> <p>A later conversation highlighted the benefits of self-study and learning about leadership with another in moving beyond the authority of experience, with Brandon commenting,</p> <p>Ideally, engaging in self-study scholarship as a leader moves you past the 'unconscious trial and error' (Polanyi, [<reflink idref="bib46" id="ref89">46</reflink>]) stage to a dedicated, inquiry-based mode of learning how to improve your practice as a dean, associate dean, chair, program director, or faculty member. (Book Study, 12 September 2019)</p> <p>We found that uncertainty in leadership was navigated by our inquiry-based mode of learning how to improve. Uncertainty in leadership goes deeper than distinct differences between how we see ourselves professionally and the enactment of practices associated with our work as leaders. For us, fear was associated with uncertainty and was a common concern during our time in, and movement toward, leadership. Diane reflected on prior experiences, 'During my early leadership years as both chair and dean, there was always a component of fear, like a worry sitting on my shoulder, whispering in my ear ... "what will happen if ... "' (Book Study, 2 May 2019). The cause for fear was directly tied to personal experiences in environments where change was needed but we lacked a sense of safety, noting that there are 'important improvements you want to make and sometimes a group of faculty who aren't ready or willing to change and improve. I have watched groups of faculty take down well-meaning leaders' (Book Study, 23 November 2019). As someone who expressed interest in upper-leadership roles, Brandon responded to Diane's comment, writing, 'That has always been a fear for me. You seek to do a good job and you think you are but experience resistance from some [faculty], who are often overly vocal' (Book Study, 29 November 2019). He added, 'We just have to acknowledge and accept the fear, and not let it paralyze us' (Book Study, 29 November 2019).</p> <p>Elsewhere in that narrative, Diane noted, 'My closest colleagues know how hard it is for me when I operate from a place of fear and worry' (Book Study, 2 May 2019). Brandon later asked how these moments impacted her work as dean, to which Diane responded, 'It can take your breath away from you ... I often wonder why I spent so much time in the fear and worry spaces. When leading change, everyone isn't on board. Many tend to throw barriers in the way ... And remember, they can vote you out which leads to personal challenges as well as the end to your reform efforts. The stakes feel high' (Book Study, 23 November 2019). The fears and uncertainties we associated with our work as teacher education leaders became significant parts of conversations. We unpacked our uncertainties about our futures as leaders. For Brandon, he became unsure about what leadership opportunities he wished to pursue beyond program leadership, though he noted, 'I do think I can contribute some positive change to wherever I [lead]' (Narrative, 2 July 2018).</p> <p>Overtime, initial fears and uncertainty subsided. For Diane, experience gained as dean helped her develop significant understandings of what it means to be a dean, but that did not mean she knew all she needed to know. In one chapter of our book study, Clift ([<reflink idref="bib14" id="ref90">14</reflink>]) wrote of Gmelch et al.'s ([<reflink idref="bib19" id="ref91">19</reflink>]) concept of the seasons of the dean. After reading this chapter, Diane commented she had learned the work of the spring dean (years one to three), but as she entered her time as a summer dean (years four to seven), 'I do not know what I don't know for this season. What is it that would make me more effective now that I don't know?' (Book Study, 2 May 2019). Brandon saw this uncertainty as a sign of confidence, responding, 'It takes someone confident in their work and an acceptance of uncertainty to admit that. I wish more leaders would say as much' (Book Study, 8 September 2019). When teaching, Brandon expressed uncertainty regarding his pedagogical actions with teachers he taught, using it as a pedagogical turn to provoke reflection, which teachers appreciated. But he wondered, 'Would it be the same if you [as dean] admitted uncertainty at points in your work with faculty?' (Book Study, 8 September 2019). To which Diane later responded, 'In safe spaces that feels important and possible but there is a vulnerability and risk attached to that approach. I wish I felt safe enough to share that uncertainty more publicly' (Book Study, 23 November 2019).</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-15">Describing the Realities of Leadership Work</hd> <p>Another challenge Diane noticed in her move to leadership related to how she defined her work with programs and faculty. As a faculty member and lower-level administrator, she could be 'doing and being in the change' as she was intimately involved with program design and enactment, whereas in her role as dean and associate dean she redefined her responsibility to 'pushing and facilitating the change' (Book Study, 2 May 2019). As someone familiar with the scholarship of teacher education and navigating a new leadership role, she 'had difficulty figuring out and navigating the boundaries' associated with program and curriculum work which was historically the purview of faculty (Narrative, 30 March 2018). Diane noted that her work as a teacher educator brought her 'to leadership roles to help design, enact, and improve programs' (Book Study, 23 November 2019). Yet there was a noticeable tension in figuring out her role as Diane moved further up the leadership ladder, gaining increased administrative responsibilities and responsibility for the college to respond to external pressures and mandates. She felt that the immediate impact she could have on the design and enactment of good teacher preparation was actually quite limited in scope.</p> <p>For Brandon, much of his fear was associated with the ability to find value or meaning in leadership work. As a program administrator, he had little support for the day-to-day management of the programs he led. His university provided minimal – if any – staff support, which drew time and attention away from teaching and research, but also from undertaking meaningful program revision and development. He noted in one narrative, 'As you [Diane] said, [leadership] has to be enjoyable, uplifting. If most of my time is being spent on what [a departmental colleague] calls "scut work", something an entry-level staff member could do, then it's not enjoyable' (Book Study, 8 September 2019). He increasingly found himself engaged in unenjoyable work. At his institution, program leaders are tasked with a wide-array of responsibilities that are normally left to departmental, college and university staff at other institutions; tasks that do not align with a faculty member's expertise and training.</p> <p>Although he was successful as a program leader and was asked to serve an additional term, Brandon left his first program administrative roles because he feared these additional tasks would subsume his work and define him as a teacher educator. When asked to take on a new program leadership role a year later, he only agreed to do so if he shared responsibility for the program so he could invest his time and energies in what he identified as uplifting and enjoyable work, programmatic and curricular revision, as this work reflected his interests, like Diane, in reform-oriented teacher education.</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-16">Discussion</hd> <p>Our commitment to reform in teacher education has significantly impacted the way we define leadership roles, navigate leadership spaces, and negotiate the constraints and affordances of our efforts. And, regarding reform, we found it can be difficult for leaders to affect change within a program, department, or college. Similar to Cochran-Smith's ([<reflink idref="bib16" id="ref92">16</reflink>]) concept of 'teaching against the grain', we experienced faculty and administrative resistance and long-entrenched cultural norms that directly impacted the scope of reforms we could implement. We did experience success though. These successes included Brandon's revision and/or creation of several graduate degree programs; and many of Diane's teacher education faculty stepped up to build more coherent programs with an eye toward clinical teacher preparation, and enhanced research-based teacher education pedagogy. However, we also struggled. We raise the issue of struggle, coupled with our sense of urgency to make change, to elucidate the emotional tensions related to leading teacher education reform. Our experiences – successes and failures – illustrate the complex nature of teacher education and how even teacher educators with the best intentions may not fully realize their professional and leadership goals.</p> <p>What we hope is that the tensions we experienced and unpacked in this article point to the highly challenging, personal nature of leading teacher education reform, particularly when one's sense of self as a teacher educator is entangled with the work. Like North et al. ([<reflink idref="bib42" id="ref93">42</reflink>]), we found the process of 'rigorously examining these tensions ... motivating, relieving and productive' (p. 714). Our respective self-studies of teacher education leadership were conducted at approximately the same time, without knowledge of the other, and in different contexts – ours situated solely in the United States and North et al.'s in the United States, Ireland, and New Zealand. Yet there are several similarities between our collective experiences and findings that suggest the tensions experienced during the transition into leadership, no matter the higher education context, is perhaps common. Both studies highlighted the competing identities of teacher educator and leader experienced, which complicates how leaders understand and implement the realities of their work. Additionally, attempting to balance previously familiar and newly unfamiliar roles risks the loss of professional and scholarly identities important to professional well-being. Regarding the specific dynamics involving confidence and uncertainty, as well as safety and challenge, we echo the sentiments expressed by North et al. ([<reflink idref="bib42" id="ref94">42</reflink>]). They emphasized that as leaders, it is imperative to step beyond the 'boundaries of [our established] confidence and competence' (p. 711). Inevitably, emerging teacher education leaders may grapple with uncertainties and a lack of confidence in their newfound leadership roles, often favoring a cautious approach. Regrettably, this inclination hampers their ability to bring about meaningful reforms. Instead, teacher education leaders must embrace collaboration with others to explore their evolving identities, glean valuable insights from moments of uncertainty, and challenge both themselves and their peers to initiate positive changes in the realm of teacher preparation.</p> <p>From our study, and building on prior research on the transition into teacher education leadership, we offer four leadership points for consideration, and additional implications of our research. First, important to understanding our experiences as leaders is the recognition that teacher education leadership is largely highly visible 'on-the-job training'. This is consistent with the work of others (Allison & Ramirez, [<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref95">2</reflink>], Clift, [<reflink idref="bib13" id="ref96">13</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib14" id="ref97">14</reflink>], North et al., [<reflink idref="bib42" id="ref98">42</reflink>]), who noted their preparation lacked training and clarity of leadership role expectations, leading to role ambiguity as they entered leadership. Becoming teacher education leaders seems to rely on the assumption that 'experienced, successful teacher educators have the dispositions and latent skills to be successful teacher educator administrators' (Allison & Ramirez, [<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref99">2</reflink>], p. 16). Given this assumption, paired with the expectation of learning on the job, it is no wonder that this highly visible learning about leadership is stressful and complicated by fear when it is typically enacted in higher education with little support. This visibility, coupled with annual faculty evaluations, possible votes of no confidence, and renewed appointments often based on feedback from those whom you are leading through challenging shifts in their own work, makes leadership lonely and leaders often face legitimate fear in asking faculty to engage in complex and time-intensive reform work.</p> <p>Second, the teacher education leadership pipeline may be strengthened by attending to the development of early leaders and supporting them through collaborative self-study that provides a space for reflection and sense-making (Allison & Ramirez, [<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref100">2</reflink>], North et al., [<reflink idref="bib42" id="ref101">42</reflink>]). Although Brandon found benefit in reciprocal mentoring, he faced numerous challenges that could have easily deterred him from future interest in leadership rather than creating interest in leading teacher education reform. We found benefit in reciprocal mentoring and suggest professional organizations and institutions of higher education provide and encourage more structured opportunities for mentoring teacher education leaders (Baker & Bitto, [<reflink idref="bib5" id="ref102">5</reflink>]). Leadership webinars and trainings, both increasingly common today, can provide current and future leaders with information about leadership theories and practices, but likely do not provide the same level of engagement and insight that critical friendship and reciprocal mentoring relationships can provide leaders. Engaging in reciprocal mentoring would help higher-level leaders gain insight and have a chance to learn from those in lower-level leadership, and the same benefits can occur for lower-level leaders learning from higher-level leaders. Such collaborative explorations of leadership show 'considerable potential to allow others to navigate the sometimes traumatic process of becoming an academic leader' (North et al., [<reflink idref="bib42" id="ref103">42</reflink>], p. 714).</p> <p>Third, knowing teacher education is important but not sufficient for leaders to support teacher education reform. Although Diane possessed knowledge about teacher education, partnerships, and higher education, that was not enough to enact reform-oriented teacher education with a degree of urgency. Hollins and Warner ([<reflink idref="bib25" id="ref104">25</reflink>]) describe the complexity of leadership for the collaborative teamwork needed for teacher education reform. They explain,</p> <p>Holistic transformative leaders are knowledgeable and responsive to the cultural, social, and political context in which teacher preparation programs are located. They understand and respect the expertise and divergent values and views among faculty and support opportunities for expression, negotiation, and consensus. Holistic transformative leaders facilitate faculty dialogue in collectively examining state and national standards, standards set by professional organizations, the scholarly literature, and problems of practice. (p. 20)</p> <p>These responsibilities reach far beyond the capacity and often the skill set of a single leader. As a result, teacher education reform requires alignment of leadership at each level of the organization. This collective leadership likely positions deans as providing pressure and support for reform, with department chairs and program coordinators leading faculty in reviewing the scholarship of teacher education as well as expression, negotiation, and consensus building around reform concepts, practices, and initiatives.</p> <p>Fourth, colleges of education need to carefully consider professional fit when filling leadership positions. When one selects a teacher education leader, the college would benefit by understanding their expertise. And, when a teacher educator chooses to step into a leadership position they will need to understand the risk of losing oneself as a teacher educator (Clift, [<reflink idref="bib13" id="ref105">13</reflink>], Loughran, [<reflink idref="bib30" id="ref106">30</reflink>]). Choosing a leader can create a type of fear as that leader will likely bring with them important knowledge about teacher education. Choosing to lead can also create a sense of loss. Both are types of fear that can get in the way of teacher education reform. In this case, the fear of losing oneself as a teacher education scholar emerged as we were left increasingly out of or not supported in the spaces needed to create visible programmatic improvements. As a result, we recognized our leadership would need to focus on working through others, including those who may or may not currently possess the requisite knowledge needed to realize teacher education reform.</p> <p>When important knowledge is missing, what is the leader's role related to supporting faculty learning and how do we as leaders learn to support the learning of others? When we assume roles as teacher educator leaders, we often experience professional crises as we are pulled further away from who we aspired to be as teacher educators (Collins, [<reflink idref="bib17" id="ref107">17</reflink>]). Allison and Ramirez ([<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref108">2</reflink>]) considered this challenge, 'perhaps, because the roles we were assigned were not roles we had sought, we envisioned administrative expectations that would require us to think and act in ways that were antithetical to our teacher educator ideals' (p. 5). These questions are important to consider if we expect faculty interested in teacher education reform to step up for leadership positions as their careers progress.</p> <p>Ultimately, the tensions uncovered in this study hold significance not only for individuals involved in teacher education leadership but also for those dedicated to spearheading reform and innovation in teacher education. More specifically, these tensions underscore the importance of fostering a style of learning that aligns with the principles of leadership, as opposed to adhering to conventional notions of administration or management. Transitioning into leadership requires emerging leaders to acknowledge the experience they bring to their new positions while understanding that experience has limitations and that there is much, unfortunately, learned on the job. Additionally, emerging teacher education leaders must recognize the discomfort they will likely experience when encouraging innovation and challenging the status quo programmatically and institutionally.</p> <p>As we endeavored to instigate profound conceptual and pedagogical shifts within our institutions and teacher education programs, the two tensions we have explored shed light on the way we define our leadership roles, driven by our unwavering passion and dedication to the enhancement of robust teacher education initiatives. This finding aligns with the work of Allison and Ramirez ([<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref109">2</reflink>]), who suggest that the way individuals find themselves in teacher education administrative roles seem to have implications for 'how administrators define themselves in their roles, how they perceive and navigate the transition into leadership, and ultimately how they experience and balance the constraints and affordances of their leadership roles' (p. 13).</p> <p>Having considered the broader implications of our research, we return to its impact on our professional growth as teacher education leaders. As we noted previously, Brandon stepped down from his program leadership roles at the midpoint of data collection. We attribute this decision to the reciprocal mentoring experience, as Diane helped him make sense of his fears associated with leadership, his questions of professional fit, and his uncertainty regarding his scholarship and teaching. After one year away from program leadership, the experience of uncovering solutions to these issues afforded Brandon the opportunity to understand his present leadership work and future interests more fully, allowing him to once again serve in program leadership roles that reflected his professional interests. Participation in this study helped Diane come to terms with her role as dean, similar to the 'time and effort ... needed to "better understand" [leadership] changes' experienced by North et al. ([<reflink idref="bib42" id="ref110">42</reflink>], p. 711). Although she had limited, direct influence over curriculum as a senior administrator, during our study she created college-wide initiatives and structural changes that would result in improvements regarding the teacher education experience at her university. The opportunity to hear Brandon reflect on some of the complexities Diane experienced and then engage in conversations around these shared themes, helped make teacher education feel less lonely. Additionally, the work of reciprocal mentoring helped highlight patterns that emerged across contexts that made the complexities within the themes feel less personal.</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-17">Conclusions</hd> <p>Finding success as teacher education leaders requires leaders to face their fears and to challenge the status quo. There will always be those who resist change. Through our work together, we have come to understand that it is not the responsibility of teacher educator leaders to <emph>be</emph> the change. Rather, it is their responsibility to <emph>facilitate</emph> the change, especially if the goal is to reform teacher education. We must acknowledge the discomfort we inevitably produce for some, while seeing such discomfort as necessary to affect positive outcomes in student learning, faculty development, and programmatic growth. That said, we must remain aware of why we invest ourselves in the challenging work of leadership while maintaining our professional and scholarly identities that got us there in the first place.</p> <p>Given the complexity of this type of teacher education reform coupled with the political nature of higher education leadership, we believe that opportunities like self-study, and using reciprocal mentoring and critical friendship, across roles may strengthen teacher education leaders' ability to develop the concepts, knowledge, and tools needed across roles to make these important changes. By studying our leadership experiences with other teacher education leaders, we may be better positioned to work through our fears and negotiate the politics of our work, (re)define our work, find space to study teacher education, and sustain our work as teacher education leaders.</p> <hd id="AN0177594080-18">Disclosure statement</hd> <p>No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).</p> <ref id="AN0177594080-19"> <title> Footnotes </title> <blist> <bibl id="bib1" idref="ref29" type="bt">1</bibl> <bibtext> Author Note: An early version of this article was presented at the 2020 International Conference on Self-Study of Teaching and Teacher Education Practices and published in the conference book, Textiles and tapestries: Self-study for envisioning new ways of knowing (Equity Press) as 'Tensions of learning on the job: A self-study of teacher education leadership'.</bibtext> </blist> </ref> <ref id="AN0177594080-20"> <title> References </title> <blist> <bibtext> Allison, V. 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  Data: <searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Teacher+Education%22">Teacher Education</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Teacher+Leadership%22">Teacher Leadership</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Administrators%22">Administrators</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Administrator+Attitudes%22">Administrator Attitudes</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Educational+Change%22">Educational Change</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Teacher+Educators%22">Teacher Educators</searchLink>
– Name: DOI
  Label: DOI
  Group: ID
  Data: 10.1080/17425964.2024.2303675
– Name: ISSN
  Label: ISSN
  Group: ISSN
  Data: 1742-5964<br />1742-5972
– Name: Abstract
  Label: Abstract
  Group: Ab
  Data: In an era defined by educational reform, teacher education requires strong, informed, and reflective leadership. Although teacher education faculty leadership is essential to reform, identifying and supporting the development of teacher educators who assume administrative leadership positions remains critical. Unfortunately, the transition into academic leadership often lacks training and support, leaving leaders isolated and learning as they lead. In this study, the authors -- leaders at different institutions with different leadership roles as dean and program director -- used self-study methods to explore questions related to teacher education leadership. Specifically, we found that reform-minded teacher education leaders should find professional fit in the programs and institutions they lead, find ways to maintain their work as teacher educator-scholars, have a willingness to express uncertainties related to their work as leaders, and learn to facilitate and support change in teacher education. Implications include a need for teacher education leadership training and mentoring, as well as providing space for leaders to support one another across institutions and ranks.
– Name: AbstractInfo
  Label: Abstractor
  Group: Ab
  Data: As Provided
– Name: DateEntry
  Label: Entry Date
  Group: Date
  Data: 2024
– Name: AN
  Label: Accession Number
  Group: ID
  Data: EJ1427252
PLink https://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&site=eds-live&db=eric&AN=EJ1427252
RecordInfo BibRecord:
  BibEntity:
    Identifiers:
      – Type: doi
        Value: 10.1080/17425964.2024.2303675
    Languages:
      – Text: English
    PhysicalDescription:
      Pagination:
        PageCount: 23
        StartPage: 236
    Subjects:
      – SubjectFull: Teacher Education
        Type: general
      – SubjectFull: Teacher Leadership
        Type: general
      – SubjectFull: Administrators
        Type: general
      – SubjectFull: Administrator Attitudes
        Type: general
      – SubjectFull: Educational Change
        Type: general
      – SubjectFull: Teacher Educators
        Type: general
    Titles:
      – TitleFull: Facing Fears and Finding Fit: A Self-Study of Teacher Education Leadership
        Type: main
  BibRelationships:
    HasContributorRelationships:
      – PersonEntity:
          Name:
            NameFull: Brandon M. Butler
      – PersonEntity:
          Name:
            NameFull: Diane Yendol-Hoppey
    IsPartOfRelationships:
      – BibEntity:
          Dates:
            – D: 01
              M: 01
              Type: published
              Y: 2024
          Identifiers:
            – Type: issn-print
              Value: 1742-5964
            – Type: issn-electronic
              Value: 1742-5972
          Numbering:
            – Type: volume
              Value: 20
            – Type: issue
              Value: 2
          Titles:
            – TitleFull: Studying Teacher Education
              Type: main
ResultId 1