Learning to Share Gendered Military Experiences: An Autoethnographic Exploration of Expressive Writing in Transforming Military Cultures
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| Title: | Learning to Share Gendered Military Experiences: An Autoethnographic Exploration of Expressive Writing in Transforming Military Cultures |
|---|---|
| Language: | English |
| Authors: | Nancy Taber (ORCID |
| Source: | New Horizons in Adult Education & Human Resource Development. 2025 37(4):225-234. |
| Availability: | SAGE Publications. 2455 Teller Road, Thousand Oaks, CA 91320. Tel: 800-818-7243; Tel: 805-499-9774; Fax: 800-583-2665; e-mail: journals@sagepub.com; Web site: https://sagepub.com |
| Peer Reviewed: | Y |
| Page Count: | 10 |
| Publication Date: | 2025 |
| Document Type: | Journal Articles Reports - Research |
| Education Level: | Adult Education |
| Descriptors: | Foreign Countries, Military Personnel, Veterans, Females, Adult Education, Feminism, Military Service, Expressive Language, Writing (Composition), Learning Experience, Writing Workshops, Writing Instruction, Cultural Influences, Gender Issues |
| Geographic Terms: | Canada |
| DOI: | 10.1177/19394225241312441 |
| ISSN: | 1939-4225 |
| Abstract: | This article discusses the analytic-evocative autoethnographic exploration of my learning experiences planning for, facilitating, participating in, and reflecting on a series of expressive writing workshops for women-identifying Canadians who have served in the military. I explore how the intersection of expressive writing, adult education, and feminist antimilitarism can inform understandings of individual military service, the collective institution of the military, and transforming military cultures. I detail my methodology of autoethnography, including a discussion of method and analysis, which demonstrates how the core elements of expressive writing and autoethnography are at odds with those of military cultures. For these reasons, expressive writing and autoethnography hold great potential for transforming military cultures, which is why I chose to combine these creative forms of writing and exploration in my research. I explain my thematic findings of: reclaiming military identity, memories, and story through imagination; and, building community through story-telling inspired by shared gendered military experiences. I present a found poem created from my writing during the workshop series that emerged from my thematic findings. I conclude with implications for adult education and autoethnographers in the context of working toward transforming military cultures. |
| Abstractor: | As Provided |
| Entry Date: | 2025 |
| Accession Number: | EJ1488866 |
| Database: | ERIC |
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| FullText | Links: – Type: pdflink Url: https://content.ebscohost.com/cds/retrieve?content=AQICAHj0k_4E0hTGH8RJwT4gCJyBsGNe_WN95AvKlDbXJGqwxwF5LT2j89-YdKDndFrdxQ6nAAAA4zCB4AYJKoZIhvcNAQcGoIHSMIHPAgEAMIHJBgkqhkiG9w0BBwEwHgYJYIZIAWUDBAEuMBEEDJEjzFcKgiXLX9Eb8gIBEICBm8sM95u-GbpZOOH9LBGh2Kxd-CBp1k6Zv6dOIG59pmR5XsW-y7ZgWuYDXlFuPYgBrP3nq-1pex8-7deLaL61GUngMTibeAx-gKmsADzGI_TSB-pIODJWxJgOkiedg0T1rjTKViPU3BN2fu_ri8uZCRbNvhJoojkAkj5sO0WWqvhGDxCdFdf9voeN7C0vDdeNxc44Slzx2HSI8D_t Text: Availability: 1 Value: <anid>AN0189026715;[1cyh]01dec.25;2025Nov04.04:11;v2.2.500</anid> <title id="AN0189026715-1">Learning to Share Gendered Military Experiences: An Autoethnographic Exploration of Expressive Writing in Transforming Military Cultures </title> <p>This article discusses the analytic-evocative autoethnographic exploration of my learning experiences planning for, facilitating, participating in, and reflecting on a series of expressive writing workshops for women-identifying Canadians who have served in the military. I explore how the intersection of expressive writing, adult education, and feminist antimilitarism can inform understandings of individual military service, the collective institution of the military, and transforming military cultures. I detail my methodology of autoethnography, including a discussion of method and analysis, which demonstrates how the core elements of expressive writing and autoethnography are at odds with those of military cultures. For these reasons, expressive writing and autoethnography hold great potential for transforming military cultures, which is why I chose to combine these creative forms of writing and exploration in my research. I explain my thematic findings of: reclaiming military identity, memories, and story through imagination; and, building community through story-telling inspired by shared gendered military experiences. I present a found poem created from my writing during the workshop series that emerged from my thematic findings. I conclude with implications for adult education and autoethnographers in the context of working toward transforming military cultures.</p> <p>Keywords: adult education; autoethnography; expressive writing; feminist antimilitarism; military cultures</p> <hd id="AN0189026715-2">Introduction</hd> <p>Research about the Canadian military demonstrates that its culture at a structural level is steeped in ableism, colonialism, homophobia, racism, and sexism ([<reflink idref="bib14" id="ref1">14</reflink>]). The military's total institution values a warrior ideal that privileges white, able-bodied, male, straight, and cisgender members while marginalizing personnel who are viewed as "other" ([<reflink idref="bib10" id="ref2">10</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib14" id="ref3">14</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib19" id="ref4">19</reflink>]). Equity-seeking personnel too often experience structural barriers as well as discrimination, sexual harassment, and sexual assault ([<reflink idref="bib13" id="ref5">13</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib19" id="ref6">19</reflink>]). Writers Collective of Canada (WCC), a charitable organization that engages in arts-health exploratory expressive writing in community, created a <emph>Her Story</emph> workshop series for women-identified Canadians who have served in the military with this context in mind. I became involved as a co-facilitator with WCC due to my experience and background as a retired military officer; feminist academic with expertise in the intersection of gender, militarism, and learning; and, fiction author who conducts writing workshops.</p> <p>This article discusses the autoethnographic exploration ([<reflink idref="bib36" id="ref7">36</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib38" id="ref8">38</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib55" id="ref9">55</reflink>]) of my learning experiences planning for, facilitating, participating in, and reflecting on WCC's <emph>Her Story</emph> workshops, first called <emph>Healing Unseen Wounds: Her Story</emph> and subsequently renamed <emph>A Force for Women: Her Story</emph>. I explore how the intersection of expressive writing, adult education, and feminist antimilitarism can inform understandings of individual military service, the collective institution of the military, and transforming military cultures. I detail my methodology of autoethnography, including a discussion of method and analysis, which demonstrates how the core elements of expressive writing and autoethnography are at odds with those of military cultures. For these reasons, expressive writing and autoethnography hold great potential for transforming military cultures, which is why I chose to combine these creative forms of writing and exploration in my research. With respect to findings, I explain my themes of: reclaiming military identity, memories, and story through imagination; and, building community through story-telling inspired by shared gendered military experiences. I present a found poem created from my writing during the WCC workshop series that emerged from my thematic findings. I conclude with implications for adult education and autoethnographers in the context of working toward transforming military cultures.</p> <hd id="AN0189026715-3">Expressive Writing, Adult Education, and Feminist Antimilitarism</hd> <p>Expressive writing is personal writing which can assist with working through emotions, reframing experiences, giving coherence to memories, and creating a strong narrative identity ([<reflink idref="bib11" id="ref10">11</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib35" id="ref11">35</reflink>]). Expressive writing can release suppressed emotions and assist writers in working through and (re) claiming their experiences. Fitting experiences such as a life disruption or traumatic event(s) into a storyline that one can accept as one's own can enable a writer's cohesion with past, current, and imagined future selves, which has positive implications for both physical and mental well-being and health ([<reflink idref="bib1" id="ref12">1</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib29" id="ref13">29</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib34" id="ref14">34</reflink>]).</p> <p>WCC's use of expressive writing is based on [<reflink idref="bib40" id="ref15">40</reflink>] Amherst Writers and Authors method. Schneider explains how creativity, writing, and community interconnect in her work:</p> <p>We are all connected to one another and to the mystery at the heart of the universe through our strange and marvelous ability to create words. When we write, we create, and when we offer our creation to one another, we close the wound of loneliness and may participate in healing the broken world. Our words, our truth, our imagining, our dreaming, may be the best gifts we have to give. (p. xix).</p> <p>Schneider's method focuses on learning the craft of writing in supportive groups that aim to support shared learning and build community, recognizing the power and potential of every writer's voice.</p> <p>[<reflink idref="bib52" id="ref16">52</reflink>]., [<reflink idref="bib50" id="ref17">50</reflink>]) structured workshops enable writers to articulate their experiences, receive affirming comments on how their stories are heard, and examine their sense of self in a supportive environment. Writers share first-draft writing, practice deep listening, and offer feedback to others about what resonates to them. WCC workshops assist participants in sharing their stories, hearing one another, and fostering caring relationships. Writers often work through and claim their own stories; develop relationships with one another; and, foster empathy and understanding for self and others. All writing in WCC workshops is treated as fiction, even if writers identify a piece of writing as memoir or write from a first-person perspective. The positioning of writing as fiction keeps the focus on the writing, not the person, and can free the writer from worrying about sharing something personal, in that nothing in their stories will be attributed to themselves.[<reflink idref="bib5" id="ref18">5</reflink>]</p> <p>Crafting a story gives order to throught ([<reflink idref="bib11" id="ref19">11</reflink>]) in that it helps to organize, summarize, and make sense of experiences, which can allow for trauma to be more easily managed (Pennebaker &amp; Segal, 1999). Writing one's way through life's challenges can celebrate courage and survival through claiming narrative identity, which is "the internalized, evolving story of the self that each person crafts to provide his or her life with a sense of purpose and unity" ([<reflink idref="bib1" id="ref20">1</reflink>], p. 367). The "story of the self" as relates to women's military service is inextricably connected to the culture of the military as well as to the ways in which individual experiences intersect with institutional expectations, norms, policies, and practices.</p> <p>When engaging in expressive writing, as a co-facilitator and writer, I am continually awed by how telling one's own story, from one's own everyday experiences, so often challenges ableist, gendered, classed, colonial, patriarchal, and racialized ruling relations (see [<reflink idref="bib42" id="ref21">42</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib43" id="ref22">43</reflink>], for a discussion of how grassroots experiences can illuminate societal relations of power). It is this aspect of expressive writing that most interests me when I am working with writers from military communities, as it holds much potential for transforming military cultures. If they so choose, writers can engage with the complex ways their military service both benefited and harmed them. Indeed, this is what often occurs, even with writing prompts that, on the surface, may seem to have nothing to do with the military. Writers choose to explore what they feel is most compelling to them in the moment, and those who join a group of woman-identified Canadians who have served in the military often write about and share their military and veteran experiences.</p> <p>Adult education scholars have explored expressive writing as a curriculum intervention for veteran college students ([<reflink idref="bib33" id="ref23">33</reflink>]), an examination of passion for work in adult education ([<reflink idref="bib39" id="ref24">39</reflink>]), and as a vehicle for engaging in transformative learning ([<reflink idref="bib27" id="ref25">27</reflink>]). Each of these scholars uses different theories and reasoning in their discussions of how expressive writing is pedagogical. In my approach to expressive writing, I am most interested in the ways in which writers can learn to engage in a societal critique of power, connect self to society, claim their own stories, and build community with one another (see [<reflink idref="bib24" id="ref26">24</reflink>], for her foundational discussion of feminist pedagogy that explores the intersection of class, gender, and race; see also [<reflink idref="bib17" id="ref27">17</reflink>]). Although critiquing power relations and positioning oneself within them is not a stated aim or element of expressive writing, it is linked to WCC's assertion that "social change happens one empowered voice at a time" (n.d., last para). It is also a core tenet of adult education scholars who use critical theories, particularly in the Canadian context, including critical race, decolonial, feminist, and queer theories ([<reflink idref="bib5" id="ref28">5</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib31" id="ref29">31</reflink>]), as well as feminist antimilitarism ([<reflink idref="bib47" id="ref30">47</reflink>]).</p> <p>Feminist antimilitarism ([<reflink idref="bib18" id="ref31">18</reflink>]) is a theory and praxis I use in my academic work and one that I have come to integrate into my work with expressive writing. It problematizes military values such as conformity, uniformity, obedience, discipline, and deference to the collective ([<reflink idref="bib18" id="ref32">18</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib44" id="ref33">44</reflink>]). These values tend to promote ableism, colonialism, homophobia, racism, and sexism due to the ways in which they encourage binary thinking in relation to man/woman, masculine/feminine, protector/protected, friend/foe, with the former of each pair privileged over the latter. Feminist antimilitarism analyzes how military norms, structures, and values benefit certain groups of people over others, at individual, organizational, national, and societal levels.</p> <p>In many ways, expressive writing is in stark contradiction to military values, which is why it is so useful for transforming military cultures; this creative expression helps writers think differently about the military and their connections to it. Expressive writing can promote deep creative exploration in an emotional celebration of each writer's authentic voice and unique identity in an egalitarian space ([<reflink idref="bib52" id="ref34">52</reflink>]., [<reflink idref="bib50" id="ref35">50</reflink>]), often in direct contrast to writer's military experiences where personnel are expected to conform to a stoic hierarchy based on a male norm.</p> <p>In the Canadian Armed Forces (CAF), women as a designated group are the most underrepresented. Although women represent approximately 50% of Canadian society, only approximately 15% serve in the military, so the ratio of them serving is approximately 30%, whereas Indigenous people and visible minorities serve at a ratio closer to 50%; these percentage differences demonstrate there is something particularly problematic about how women, in all their intersectionality, are viewed and treated as military members ([<reflink idref="bib48" id="ref36">48</reflink>]). Additionally, women experience discrimination, harassment, and assault in the Canadian military at greater percentage rates than men ([<reflink idref="bib7" id="ref37">7</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib8" id="ref38">8</reflink>]), as do those in the Regular Force "who are younger, who are Indigenous, who have a disability, or who sexual orientation is not heterosexual" ([<reflink idref="bib8" id="ref39">8</reflink>], p. 4). Learning more about women's experiences can assist with understanding, challenging, and transforming military culture. The intersection between what WCC values as an organization, my feminist antimilitarist research, and my military service created an insightful learning space for me.</p> <hd id="AN0189026715-4">Methodology</hd> <p>Autoethnography is a qualitative research methodology that explores the intersections between the self and the social within specific cultural contexts ([<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref40">2</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib36" id="ref41">36</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib38" id="ref42">38</reflink>]). Grenier describes it as "self-reflective investigation of a researcher's experience within a particular culture or societal context" ([<reflink idref="bib21" id="ref43">21</reflink>], p. 71) which "get[s] at ... vulnerability ... intrinsic motivations and ... deep personal thoughts" (p. 70). Autoethnography is particularly useful for adult education scholars who take a critical approach to learning in contexts that are replete with power relations. For instance, [<reflink idref="bib30" id="ref44">30</reflink>] explore how autoethnography can be used for "queering research methods in graduate studies in order to understand the diverse experiences of queer educators" in a way that "engage[s] the complexity within which queerness emerges in education" (p. 19). [<reflink idref="bib15" id="ref45">15</reflink>] examines her complex experiences of privilege and marginalization as a woman of color in academia, which required bravery and vulnerability on her part as an autoethnographic researcher. I have previously used autoethnography in research about learning in the Canadian military ([<reflink idref="bib45" id="ref46">45</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib46" id="ref47">46</reflink>]) in order to forefront how the service of one woman researcher can help illuminate gendered power relations in an organization that, as [<reflink idref="bib13" id="ref48">13</reflink>] later described, was built by white cisgender straight men, for white cisgender straight men.</p> <p>Depending on the type of autoethnography conducted, the research focus can be more on the self with interpretation left to the reader (i.e., evocative autoethnography, see [<reflink idref="bib16" id="ref49">16</reflink>]) or more on the social with clear analysis and findings (i.e., analytic autoethnography, see [<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref50">2</reflink>]; critical autoethnography, see [<reflink idref="bib37" id="ref51">37</reflink>]). I initially subscribed more to analytical and critical autoethnography than evocative when conducting the autoethnography of my military experiences ([<reflink idref="bib45" id="ref52">45</reflink>], [<reflink idref="bib46" id="ref53">46</reflink>]), which explored how my embodiment as a woman intersected with my own service individually and the military organization as a whole. In my analysis, I discussed that, while it was clear to me that I was individually marginalized as a military woman, in comparison to military men, it was not until I started a Master's degree in Education and engaged with feminist theories that I began to understand how military culture, policies, and practices negatively positioned those who identify as women at a structural level, not just in relation to gender, but also in relation to race, ability, and sexuality, as well as occupational trade and rank (see [<reflink idref="bib14" id="ref54">14</reflink>], for a discussion of the root causes of military marginalization and oppression).</p> <p>There is a small subset of autoethnographies of military and veteran life written by academic researchers (i.e., [<reflink idref="bib12" id="ref55">12</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib20" id="ref56">20</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib22" id="ref57">22</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib49" id="ref58">49</reflink>]). They are rare because the number of retired military academics who work in the critical social sciences is relatively low percentage-wise (see [<reflink idref="bib3" id="ref59">3</reflink>]) and the number of those who identify as women and feminists even lower ([<reflink idref="bib54" id="ref60">54</reflink>]). Also, military personnel are taught throughout their service not to question their experiences or the organization ([<reflink idref="bib53" id="ref61">53</reflink>]), both of which are key elements of an autoethnographic exploration of the self as connects to the social. As [<reflink idref="bib23" id="ref62">23</reflink>] explain, "the influences shaping military sociology have tended to mitigate against the adoption of reflexive approaches" (p. 221). It is these reflexive approaches that I have learned to include in much of my academic work, as the backgrounds, experiences, minds, and bodies of scholars—their whole beings—are inextricably connected to their research, whether acknowledged or not ([<reflink idref="bib24" id="ref63">24</reflink>]). Analytic-evocative autoethnography, therefore, is as much in opposition to military values as is expressive writing, as this methodology requires reflexivity, vulnerability, and emotional sharing, while the military demands obedience and stoicism. More recently, I have come to understand that this autoethnographic whole being approach also includes an engagement with one's imagination, on the part of scholars and students, writers, and readers, which has led me to the potential of creative forms of writing and storytelling.</p> <p>[<reflink idref="bib55" id="ref64">55</reflink>] article about combining analytic and evocative autoethnography was helpful to me, in that it became clear that analytical and evocative ethnographies do not represent a binary, but a continuum, in that different types of autoethnographies have differing, but not oppositional, foci on self, social, delineated analysis, and open-ended meaning-making.</p> <p>For the research discussed in this article, I conducted an analytical-evocative autoethnography, with the aim of connecting the scholarly focus on analysis with the WCC focus on evocative emotional expression. My research question was: What are my autoethnographic learning experiences with respect to the intersections between myself and the social in relation to the Fall/Winter 2023/24 Writers Collective of Canada expressive writing workshops for woman-identifying Canadians who have served in the military, my own military service, and my feminist antimilitarist scholarship? My data sources include a field note journal where I recorded my reflections during the period of the workshops, workshop quotations and prompts that I co-developed with my co-facilitators, and the writing I conducted during the workshops, from October 2023 to March 2024. This time period includes the planning, co-facilitation, and evaluation of a 6-week workshop series in Fall of 2023 (Healing Unseen Wounds: Her Story) and a 5-week workshop series in Winter of 2024 (A Force for Women: Her Story), each with one 1.5-hr workshop per week.</p> <p>In the workshops during this period, I co-facilitated with two different WCC facilitators who identified as women and did not serve in the military. The numbers of participants in each workshop varied, ranging from 1 to 10, some who attended only one workshop, some multiple workshops, for a total of over 25 different writers. In developing workshop materials, I and my co-facilitators chose quotations and prompts that would problematize and reframe the ways in which issues of power, force, purpose, empathy, experience, identity, honor, leadership, and heroism played out in military and veteran contexts. I also tended to choose quotations from novels, as a way to further demonstrate how WCC positions all writing as fiction. To get a sense of the content of the workshops, below are two quotation examples and their related prompts:</p> <p></p> <ulist> <item> • "Power dictates acceptability."—R.F. Kuang, <emph>Yellowface</emph></item> <p></p> <item> ○ Write about the accountability of power or write about the different ways you have experienced power.</item> <p></p> <item> • "Traces of the past hang in the air around us. Millions of them, still suspended. Like time is a glass and we kind of smear it a bit as we pass through it."—C.J. Cooke, <emph>A Haunting in the Arctic</emph></item> <p></p> <item> ○ Write about traces of your past self, as connects to your present.</item> </ulist> <hd id="AN0189026715-5">Analysis and Findings: Thematic Description and Found Poem</hd> <p>In this section, I present a description of how I specifically proceeded with my autoethnography as I believe it is important for autoethnographers to be transparent in how they conduct their research, so readers can clearly see how the data was approached, analyzed, and presented. Using my field notes as data, I conducted an open, axial, and selective thematic coding ([<reflink idref="bib32" id="ref65">32</reflink>]). As I read and re-read my journal, I used colored pencils as a visual way of identifying, separating, and combining the themes that arose. My open coding resulted in the following codes, listed alphabetically: academic research about the military; belonging; connection and community; contradiction; control; emotions; exclusion and isolation; gender norms; identity; imagination; meaning-making; memories; military values and experiences; moral injury; own story; peace; reframing; self; stories; (lack of) trust; vulnerability; and, WCC values, structure, and principles.</p> <p>What became clear through this open coding was the juxtaposition of codes nested beside each other. For instance, I often had military values coded beside WCC ones, in places in my field notes where I had written about my military service through the lens of imaginative meaning-making. As I moved into axial coding, I combined the themes which matched and/or connected with each other, into two: reclaiming military identity, memories, and story through imagination; and, building community through story-telling inspired by shared gendered military experiences. I then used the data from my workshop writing as the source material for a found poem, in order to present a portion of my findings creatively, as seemed most appropriate for an autoethnography on the potentiality of expressive writing for learning about the self and the social. A description of the results of my selective coding follows, with sub-headings taken from lines from my workshop writing.</p> <hd id="AN0189026715-6">Reclaiming Military Identity, Memories, and Story Through Imagination: "You Have No Power Ove...</hd> <p>In my writing, I often wrote about pushing away and hiding experiences and memories, in boxes, in corners of my mind, behind doors, and once in a hole in the ground. Until I analyzed my field notes, I hadn't realized how common this was in my writing, as was a lack of trust. In each of these stories, there was a point where I (re) considered and confronted my memories, accepting them into who I was, and reframing them. Although the memories often came unbidden, surprising me with what emerged in my writing, in each case, the writing (rather unconsciously) allowed me to control how I engaged with them, framed them, and resolved them. Several times, I wrote a phrase somewhat similar to "I just realized this now, as I'm writing these words" and "My mind is taking me where it needs to go" as I took control of my own experiences and memories. No matter what had happened to me in the past, as a writer, I was in charge of what happened now, which was a powerful feeling, as I resolved collisions and contradictions between my past military and present civilian (veteran) self.</p> <p>As my writing was treated as fiction, and all my stories therefore nicely positioned within plausible deniability, I neither felt the need to censor myself nor edit my words. I wrote about mundane everyday things such as baking bread, putting together a jigsaw puzzle, and watching a sunset; exceptional military experiences like attending military college, flying in helicopter, and deploying at sea; and, fantastical images of yellow brick roads, wicked witches, and dragons. Sometimes, all three of these elements ended up in one story. The stories, while written as fiction, all connected to who I am, what I value, why I write about which experiences, where I am in my life, and how I think. As [<reflink idref="bib4" id="ref66">4</reflink>] explain "the opposite of fact isn't fiction but something like error" (p. 13). Fiction can hold truths, just as non-fiction writing can.</p> <p>Taking an imaginative approach to my military service that was steeped in a desire to conform and belong to the collective ([<reflink idref="bib44" id="ref67">44</reflink>]) was freeing. Even though I understand the theory behind expressive writing at an intellectual level, in that it assists in working through experiences, emotions, identity, and memories ([<reflink idref="bib11" id="ref68">11</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib35" id="ref69">35</reflink>]), I was still astounded at its positive effects on me personally. After one workshop, I wrote, "It always surprises me, how amazing the workshop makes me feel, claiming my own stories and listening to others." I felt as if, even for a brief moment, the military, and my military experiences, had "no power over me."</p> <hd id="AN0189026715-7">Building Community Through Story-Telling Inspired by Shared Gendered Military Experiences: "I...</hd> <p>The strength and healing potential of stories was woven throughout my field notes, in relation to not only my own writing, but in sharing my stories with other writers in the workshops and in listening to their stories, as well as giving and receiving feedback. I wrote about how, "when I free myself to write, anything is possible"; "when I create, I am free"; and, "fiction makes me feel alive, reading it, writing it," because "it's the potential I love ... with stories that celebrate women and their lives, their loves, their strengths and flaws, truths and lies."</p> <p>Because the group of writers in the workshop was comprised of women with shared experiences, I felt deep understanding in and connections between our stories. All we knew of each other was our first names, the location we were writing in, and that each writer identified as a woman with military experience. In other's stories, I saw myself, and I felt as if they saw themselves in mine, which was an important form of validation for me. In the workshops, I wrote about a "vat of empathy," "listening ear," and an "understanding look" in creating "a patch of belonging."</p> <p>In their program evaluation of WCC workshops with homeless veterans at Veteran's House and with the first <emph>Healing Unseen Wounds: Her Story</emph> workshop series in 2022 (the latter of which I co-facilitated), [<reflink idref="bib28" id="ref70">28</reflink>] found participants had similar responses with respect to building community and finding validation. For military women who, despite having the potential to find success in the military, often feel excluded, isolated, and tokenized, as well as are often discriminated against, harassed, and even assaulted ([<reflink idref="bib54" id="ref71">54</reflink>]), experiencing such community and validation in a non-judgmental space is empowering. For me, it was also freeing. By giving my words to the group, I felt seen. Writing together allowed me to connect, without having to claim any particular military experience.</p> <hd id="AN0189026715-8">A Found Poem</hd> <p>In creating this found poem, I selected sentences and phrases I had marked during my coding process (written in a variety of first-, second-, and third-person point-of-views as well as past and present tenses) from the 20 stories I wrote during the workshops. As a reminder to readers that these lines were written as fiction, as well as for consistency and coherency, I changed the point of view throughout to third person. I corrected tenses to work within the poem and changed minor words for clarity. I ordered the lines into a narrative arc, re-ordered and revising as needed, to demonstrate my overall autoethnographic findings.</p> <hd id="AN0189026715-9">A Place Safer Than Castles Surrounded by Moats</hd> <p>Anyone who looks at her, knows where she belongs. But not if she belongs.</p> <p>Green for army, blue for air force, black for navy. Bruises in a camouflage pattern.</p> <p>Conform. Fit in. Don't stick your neck out. Do not get noticed.</p> <p>Don't trust.</p> <p>It's just a joke, they say, as they put themselves in the good guy category.</p> <p>But a joke is never just a joke, when it's aimed at her.</p> <p>So she created a smoke and mirrors illusion by acting tough, talking rough, jostling with elbows out and shoulders squared.</p> <p>Contradictions that were somehow true.</p> <p>A collective.</p> <p>Protectors.</p> <p>For operational effectiveness.</p> <p>She forgot that it's fucked up.</p> <p>Or maybe decided not to see it.</p> <p>Easier to cope.</p> <p>How good she was at shoving away anger, fear, and sadness. Distrust.</p> <p>She learned.</p> <p>Put the emotions in a box, in a corner of her brain.</p> <p>Click, click, click, and presto, nasty memories, scary thoughts disappeared.</p> <p>Dusted off her hands and walked away.</p> <p>Experience taught her to leave it all behind.</p> <p>But memories' superpower is their staying power.</p> <p>Her experiences followed her. Haunting, stalking, reminding.</p> <p>Tapped her on the shoulder. "I'm here," they whispered.</p> <p>Memories cascaded out.</p> <p>Suspended in mid-air, twisting.</p> <p>Is she screaming into the void?</p> <p>A hand stretched out, just when she needed it.</p> <p>Fuck the void.</p> <p>She wasn't the only one.</p> <p>She took her memories out of the box, peered at them, reframed them, in her own words.</p> <p>Incorporated them it into who she was.</p> <p>With a form of acceptance</p> <p>She gave the memories words</p> <p>Realizing, as she wrote</p> <p>That those experiences, those memories were, after all, what made her.</p> <p>She gave the words to the group.</p> <p>And those memories had less power over her.</p> <p>The group, they saw her.</p> <p>Created a place safer than castles surrounded by moats.</p> <p>So she took that thin gruel of experience, added a heap of oats.</p> <p>Cinnamon, just a dash.</p> <p>Soaked it in a vat of empathy, stirred it up, like a witch with a cauldron.</p> <p>Cackling, as others added a listening ear, an understanding look, a chuckle well-placed, even if the humour was hidden.</p> <p>In a patch of belonging.</p> <p>She created space to tell women's stories, to listen to them.</p> <p>A force of women. Made of words.</p> <p>Strong, difficult, brave, complex.</p> <p>Stories about women, by women, for women.</p> <p>"We are here," they called.</p> <p>Unstoppable.</p> <p>Stories of fiction, of truth, of how the two intersect.</p> <p>Words on the page, in the ether, in the world.</p> <p>Where her own true self lives</p> <p>She makes her own fairy tales.</p> <p>She spews fire and brimstone.</p> <p>She makes her own path.</p> <p>She lays the stone with every step she takes.</p> <p>She sets the direction.</p> <p>She decides.</p> <p>Which memory to pay attention to, and when, and which to let go.</p> <p>For the wicked witches of the world are not wicked, but defiant.</p> <p>The anti-hero walks in the minefield.</p> <p>She creates a world where her whole self flies.</p> <p>Immersed in story.</p> <p>When she creates, she is free.</p> <p>We are free.</p> <p>As this found poem demonstrates, finding community in a group of women who wanted to write and share their own stories of military service, and wanted to listen to those of others, was powerful and freeing for me. Although I am hesitant to share the more vulnerable lines with readers outside of the WCC workshop series, I have retained them here, because reading the latter lines of the poem still gives me chills and feeds me positive energy. It is this energy that I keep with me, long after the end of each workshop, and is testament to the creative and critical pedagogical potential of expressive writing.</p> <hd id="AN0189026715-10">Implications</hd> <p>My work with expressive writing has several autoethnographical, methodological, and pedagogical implications. First, expressive writing and autoethnographies share a focus on writing as an exploration of self (see DeSalvo, 1999; [<reflink idref="bib16" id="ref72">16</reflink>], respectively). As such, both the research context of an expressive writing group and the autoethnographic methodology are complementary. However, autoethnographies (unless conducted as a duo- or collaborative autoethnography, e.g., Shwartz &amp; [<reflink idref="bib41" id="ref73">41</reflink>]) are typically conducted by a sole researcher writing in isolation. While the writing of this research article itself was conducted as a lone activity (with feedback from peer reviewers), the data was created while in a group writing setting. This shared experience was both motivating to and meaningful for me, contributing to my overall learning and feelings of connection with other writers.</p> <p>Second, the pedagogical potential of an analytic-evocative autoethnography ([<reflink idref="bib55" id="ref74">55</reflink>]) is demonstrated by the presentation of my findings in the form of thematic description paired with a found poem. Conducting the thematic coding process was key in identifying my learning during the workshop series, and my description above explains the meaning of my findings and directly connects it to the literature (in ways akin to [<reflink idref="bib2" id="ref75">2</reflink>] and [<reflink idref="bib37" id="ref76">37</reflink>]. These themes then became the basis for my selection and organization of lines from my writing, helping me shape the poem as a whole. In the poem, the reader is open to discern meaning themselves (as with [<reflink idref="bib16" id="ref77">16</reflink>]). As such, the different methodological aspects of the autoethnography inform each other, giving me the author-researcher as well as readers of this article different insights in an engagement with my experiences and my writing.</p> <p>Third, service indelibly imprints itself on military personnel. Military service is not bounded between dates of enrollment and release, but affects one's civilian and veteran life. In the context of those who have served in the military, writers often learn to reflect on and explore the interconnections between their military and veteran/civilian selves. Working through memories and situations with which one may be in conflict by changing one's perspective on the military and one's own service is not easy. Facilitators should be properly trained in expressive writing theory and practice; writers should choose to attend with an understanding of the tenets of the workshop, if and when they themselves feel ready. Especially for those socialized into military culture ([<reflink idref="bib23" id="ref78">23</reflink>]), choosing to engage in critical learning can be both freeing and difficult ([<reflink idref="bib6" id="ref79">6</reflink>]). Fourth, individual military experiences are tied to collective ones ([<reflink idref="bib10" id="ref80">10</reflink>]), in that the ruling relations of the military—what is expected, normalized, valued, and rewarded, along with what is devalued, denigrated, and punished—have profound effects on individual life. In the <emph>Her Story</emph> workshops, I shared stories that recognized the wide variety of my military experiences, demonstrating a gamut of emotions from pride, joy, and amusement to anger, frustration, and sadness. The expressive writing workshops and conducting this autoethnography allowed me to express these emotions, some of which I have never voiced before, and certainly not in the presence of military members or veterans; military training in conformity and stoicism ([<reflink idref="bib44" id="ref81">44</reflink>]) has a long legacy in my body and mind. But, by learning to give these stories voice and making them the center of my research, I felt as if I could claim and control them, so they would not claim and control me. As [<reflink idref="bib53" id="ref82">53</reflink>] describes in relation to her autoethnographic research about her own military experiences, "creativity has opened a space for me to reflect on my own 'encounter' with the military and find my critical voice" as "I ... rethink how I understand my relationship with military power" (p. 183). An autoethnographic enabling of creative voice is therefore particularly useful in the military context.</p> <p>Fifth, military service can isolate women, as anything associated with femininity is often perceived as weak or less than ([<reflink idref="bib25" id="ref83">25</reflink>]). Women are taught not to bond with each other in the military ([<reflink idref="bib54" id="ref84">54</reflink>]). If women do not share the difficulties of their service with each other—if they do not see them as "deeply odd," as described by West and Antrobus—then women are not likely to see similarity in each other, a pattern in their experiences that was not individual but institutional. While I was in the military, I would never have sought out a community of military women, something that also caused me hesitance when I was first asked to co-facilitate the WCC <emph>Her Stories</emph> series. But the expressive writing workshops further demonstrate the commonality in military women's service and give women the opportunity to learn from one another's whole selves ([<reflink idref="bib24" id="ref85">24</reflink>]).</p> <p>Sixth, while the aim of expressive writing workshops is to share stories within the workshop itself, which can result in individual transformative learning ([<reflink idref="bib27" id="ref86">27</reflink>]), opportunities for research, publication, and presentation serve a valid function, in assisting others—from both military and civilian communities, and those that intersect—to learn from the experiences of those who have served and are reflecting on that service. For instance, I have published aspects of my stories in blogs and in this autoethnographic article because I believe in the importance of sharing what I have learned through expressive writing. Additionally, WCC conducted a WriteOn series, where those who participated in any of the <emph>Her Story</emph> workshops were invited to revise their workshop writing for publication in a chapbook[<reflink idref="bib6" id="ref87">6</reflink>] ([<reflink idref="bib51" id="ref88">51</reflink>]). Sometimes, writers learn from writing their stories and sharing with no one, others from sharing in a small group, and others from wider dissemination. The goal is, for those writers who decide on the latter, that reading and/or listening to these stories can assist with a social transformation of how others view the military and women's service in it. As humans learn through story ([<reflink idref="bib9" id="ref89">9</reflink>]; [<reflink idref="bib26" id="ref90">26</reflink>]), Canadian civilian and military members alike can learn about women's experiences in the military through providing space for their stories.</p> <hd id="AN0189026715-11">Conclusion</hd> <p>Historically, as well as currently, approaches to changing military culture have been conceptualized and operationalized through traditional and often non-critical theories and methodologies that lead to policies, practices, training, and recommendations that preserve the status quo. Expressive writing offers something different—a creative way to bridge past with present, make meaning of collective experiences, cope with difficulties and trauma, build community, support relational communication, foster belonging, engage in healing, and imagine a transformation of military cultures. 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A different version that includes an expanded discussion of the Transforming Military Culture network's work on expressive writing was published on their website.</bibtext> </blist> <blist> <bibtext> The author declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.</bibtext> </blist> <blist> <bibtext> The author disclosed receipt of the following financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article: This research was partially supported by funding from Transforming Military Cultures Network, though a Department of National Defence-Mobilizing Insights into National Defence and Security grant.</bibtext> </blist> <blist> <bibtext> Nancy Taber</bibtext> </blist> <blist> <bibtext>Graph https://orcid.org/0000-0002-2911-1295</bibtext> </blist> <blist> <bibtext> A note on the use of terms and concepts such as fiction and stories: I recognize that the experiences of military women who are survivors of military sexual violence have too often been problematically dismissed as "stories," in that they are perceived as fictional and not true. In WCC workshops, all writing (whether positioned as narratives, stories, experiences, memories, memoirs) is taken seriously and respected in a non-judgmental way. The aim is not to evaluate for truth, but to engage with each other's writing.</bibtext> </blist> <blist> <bibtext> A chapbook is a small volume that contains a monograph, stories, or poems. In this case, the WCC chapbook is a 38-page collection of stories about women's military service and related experiences.</bibtext> </blist> </ref> <aug> <p>By Nancy Taber</p> <p>Reported by Author</p> <p></p> <p>Nancy Taber is a professor at Brock University, a co-director of the Transforming Military Cultures network, and a former military officer. Her research explores how learning, gender, and militarism interact in daily life, popular culture, museums, academia, and militaries. Her debut novel, A Sea of Spectres, published with Acorn Press.</p> </aug> <nolink nlid="nl1" bibid="bib14" firstref="ref1"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl2" bibid="bib10" firstref="ref2"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl3" bibid="bib19" firstref="ref4"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl4" bibid="bib13" firstref="ref5"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl5" bibid="bib36" firstref="ref7"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl6" bibid="bib38" firstref="ref8"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl7" bibid="bib55" firstref="ref9"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl8" bibid="bib11" firstref="ref10"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl9" bibid="bib35" firstref="ref11"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl10" bibid="bib29" firstref="ref13"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl11" bibid="bib34" firstref="ref14"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl12" bibid="bib40" firstref="ref15"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl13" bibid="bib52" firstref="ref16"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl14" bibid="bib50" firstref="ref17"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl15" bibid="bib42" firstref="ref21"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl16" bibid="bib43" firstref="ref22"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl17" bibid="bib33" firstref="ref23"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl18" bibid="bib39" firstref="ref24"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl19" bibid="bib27" firstref="ref25"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl20" bibid="bib24" firstref="ref26"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl21" bibid="bib17" firstref="ref27"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl22" bibid="bib31" firstref="ref29"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl23" bibid="bib47" firstref="ref30"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl24" bibid="bib18" firstref="ref31"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl25" bibid="bib44" firstref="ref33"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl26" bibid="bib48" firstref="ref36"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl27" bibid="bib21" firstref="ref43"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl28" bibid="bib30" firstref="ref44"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl29" bibid="bib15" firstref="ref45"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl30" bibid="bib45" firstref="ref46"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl31" bibid="bib46" firstref="ref47"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl32" bibid="bib16" firstref="ref49"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl33" bibid="bib37" firstref="ref51"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl34" bibid="bib12" firstref="ref55"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl35" bibid="bib20" firstref="ref56"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl36" bibid="bib22" firstref="ref57"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl37" bibid="bib49" firstref="ref58"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl38" bibid="bib54" firstref="ref60"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl39" bibid="bib53" firstref="ref61"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl40" bibid="bib23" firstref="ref62"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl41" bibid="bib32" firstref="ref65"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl42" bibid="bib28" firstref="ref70"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl43" bibid="bib41" firstref="ref73"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl44" bibid="bib25" firstref="ref83"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl45" bibid="bib51" firstref="ref88"></nolink> <nolink nlid="nl46" bibid="bib26" firstref="ref90"></nolink> |
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| Header | DbId: eric DbLabel: ERIC An: EJ1488866 AccessLevel: 3 PubType: Academic Journal PubTypeId: academicJournal PreciseRelevancyScore: 0 |
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| Items | – Name: Title Label: Title Group: Ti Data: Learning to Share Gendered Military Experiences: An Autoethnographic Exploration of Expressive Writing in Transforming Military Cultures – Name: Language Label: Language Group: Lang Data: English – Name: Author Label: Authors Group: Au Data: <searchLink fieldCode="AR" term="%22Nancy+Taber%22">Nancy Taber</searchLink> (ORCID <externalLink term="https://orcid.org/0000-0002-2911-1295">0000-0002-2911-1295</externalLink>) – Name: TitleSource Label: Source Group: Src Data: <searchLink fieldCode="SO" term="%22New+Horizons+in+Adult+Education+%26+Human+Resource+Development%22"><i>New Horizons in Adult Education & Human Resource Development</i></searchLink>. 2025 37(4):225-234. – Name: Avail Label: Availability Group: Avail Data: SAGE Publications. 2455 Teller Road, Thousand Oaks, CA 91320. Tel: 800-818-7243; Tel: 805-499-9774; Fax: 800-583-2665; e-mail: journals@sagepub.com; Web site: https://sagepub.com – Name: PeerReviewed Label: Peer Reviewed Group: SrcInfo Data: Y – Name: Pages Label: Page Count Group: Src Data: 10 – Name: DatePubCY Label: Publication Date Group: Date Data: 2025 – Name: TypeDocument Label: Document Type Group: TypDoc Data: Journal Articles<br />Reports - Research – Name: Audience Label: Education Level Group: Audnce Data: <searchLink fieldCode="EL" term="%22Adult+Education%22">Adult Education</searchLink> – Name: Subject Label: Descriptors Group: Su Data: <searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Foreign+Countries%22">Foreign Countries</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Military+Personnel%22">Military Personnel</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Veterans%22">Veterans</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Females%22">Females</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Adult+Education%22">Adult Education</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Feminism%22">Feminism</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Military+Service%22">Military Service</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Expressive+Language%22">Expressive Language</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Writing+%28Composition%29%22">Writing (Composition)</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Learning+Experience%22">Learning Experience</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Writing+Workshops%22">Writing Workshops</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Writing+Instruction%22">Writing Instruction</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Cultural+Influences%22">Cultural Influences</searchLink><br /><searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Gender+Issues%22">Gender Issues</searchLink> – Name: Subject Label: Geographic Terms Group: Su Data: <searchLink fieldCode="DE" term="%22Canada%22">Canada</searchLink> – Name: DOI Label: DOI Group: ID Data: 10.1177/19394225241312441 – Name: ISSN Label: ISSN Group: ISSN Data: 1939-4225 – Name: Abstract Label: Abstract Group: Ab Data: This article discusses the analytic-evocative autoethnographic exploration of my learning experiences planning for, facilitating, participating in, and reflecting on a series of expressive writing workshops for women-identifying Canadians who have served in the military. I explore how the intersection of expressive writing, adult education, and feminist antimilitarism can inform understandings of individual military service, the collective institution of the military, and transforming military cultures. I detail my methodology of autoethnography, including a discussion of method and analysis, which demonstrates how the core elements of expressive writing and autoethnography are at odds with those of military cultures. For these reasons, expressive writing and autoethnography hold great potential for transforming military cultures, which is why I chose to combine these creative forms of writing and exploration in my research. I explain my thematic findings of: reclaiming military identity, memories, and story through imagination; and, building community through story-telling inspired by shared gendered military experiences. I present a found poem created from my writing during the workshop series that emerged from my thematic findings. I conclude with implications for adult education and autoethnographers in the context of working toward transforming military cultures. – Name: AbstractInfo Label: Abstractor Group: Ab Data: As Provided – Name: DateEntry Label: Entry Date Group: Date Data: 2025 – Name: AN Label: Accession Number Group: ID Data: EJ1488866 |
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| RecordInfo | BibRecord: BibEntity: Identifiers: – Type: doi Value: 10.1177/19394225241312441 Languages: – Text: English PhysicalDescription: Pagination: PageCount: 10 StartPage: 225 Subjects: – SubjectFull: Foreign Countries Type: general – SubjectFull: Military Personnel Type: general – SubjectFull: Veterans Type: general – SubjectFull: Females Type: general – SubjectFull: Adult Education Type: general – SubjectFull: Feminism Type: general – SubjectFull: Military Service Type: general – SubjectFull: Expressive Language Type: general – SubjectFull: Writing (Composition) Type: general – SubjectFull: Learning Experience Type: general – SubjectFull: Writing Workshops Type: general – SubjectFull: Writing Instruction Type: general – SubjectFull: Cultural Influences Type: general – SubjectFull: Gender Issues Type: general – SubjectFull: Canada Type: general Titles: – TitleFull: Learning to Share Gendered Military Experiences: An Autoethnographic Exploration of Expressive Writing in Transforming Military Cultures Type: main BibRelationships: HasContributorRelationships: – PersonEntity: Name: NameFull: Nancy Taber IsPartOfRelationships: – BibEntity: Dates: – D: 01 M: 12 Type: published Y: 2025 Identifiers: – Type: issn-electronic Value: 1939-4225 Numbering: – Type: volume Value: 37 – Type: issue Value: 4 Titles: – TitleFull: New Horizons in Adult Education & Human Resource Development Type: main |
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